There’s a new Captain Scarlet and The Mysterons podcast from Luke at UFOcast. As a guest presenter (Captain Aubergine) on the latest podcast, I look into episode Model Spy, in which Captain Scarlet goes undercover in the world of high fashion, and probably gets killed twice. But he’s not bitter. Not at all.

Captain Aubergine here, reporting from Sydney, Australia. Lighten up Spectrum fans because this episode’s gonna be a lot of fun as we go on the French Riviera and Captain Scarlet goes into the whole world of high fashion! But it gets very dark. Like every other episode of Captain Scarlet usually does.

In this episode – Model Spy – the Mysterons plan to kill a famous fashion designer, Andre Verdain, and in doing so making the fashion community the world over and Madonna LIVID at the Mysterons. So they can kiss goodbye to getting into any decent nightclub ever again. “Sorry! No Mysterons allowed.” “But my name’s on the door.” “Go on mate, take your googly eyes and go somewhere else.”

And there’s great music in this too, especially recorded tracks for this one: “Models on a Train” and “Cocktail Time”.

And as the models are complaining, it is very tiring being a fashion model. But things get a lot worse when the Mysterons put their googly eyes over the train and oh look out, bang! And we get the scene of two models being killed in a vicious train wreck, which of course won’t upset the kids because 1967.

And the Mysterons give away the plan at the beginning of every show: “Yeah, we’re gonna kill that fashion guy.” Also, we get to hear the real names of Captain Scarlet and Captain Blue. Captain Scarlet: Paul Metcalfe and Captain Blue: Adam Svensen. Is he Swedish or Norwegian? Well, they go undercover with Destiny Angel and Symphony Angel – Gabrielle and Helga – voiced by Sylvia Anderson, herself, and Liz Morgan as Helga. But I gotta say, it’s a pretty outrageous French accent there. And Verdain himself has the most outrageous French accent. It’s like a fashion designer had the accent of the French Taunter from Monty Python.

Fashion wise, there’s a lot of velour going on here and a lot of ruffle. Velour and ruffle – big in 67.

Captain Blue is a bit dismissive of the entire fashion industry: “Verdain doesn’t appear of particular importance to anyone, least of all the Mysterons.” No one would believe that a man that runs a women’s fashion house would be a spy! I don’t know – if you’ve seen any episodes of ‘Allo ‘Allo, it’s pretty obvious. Verdain runs the Europe Area Intelligence Network.

Just looking at the way they’re dressed with their caps on in these scenes, is it possible that the Spectrum uniform caps have a clear brim from above? The faces of the Spectrum agents are better lit because when they’ve got caps on, casts a shadow.

There are reports that have come into Spectrum that Captain Black has been seen in Europe. Well, that narrows it down. He’s pretty easy to spot, he’s the unshaven guy.

And just a moment to think about Lieutenant Green. How come Lieutenant Green never gets a hat? I don’t think you ever see him with a hat on. Did the other Spectrum agents nick his hat and throw it over the telegraph pole wires like sand shoes?

Oh, now we’ve got some real fashion here. We’ve got the harlequin patterned chartreuse and burnt orange pantsuit. That pantsuit gives off that whole Hillary Clinton casual look.

As we know, Captain Scarlet’s quite famous for going funny in his water whenever he’s around Mysterons, but he’s really close to two of them there and uh, no, his water doesn’t go funny even once. But they do get invited out on the fabulous motor yacht and we are treated to “Cocktail Time”, the track that was specially recorded for this episode, and it’s the groovy sound of 2068: jazz flute.

Just a few safety engineering tips on Verdain’s 2068 luxury motor yacht: the fuel release valve. Don’t put it directly over the hot manifold of the engine. Why would you ever want to release flammable fuel near the hot manifold? And, uh, complete lack of smoke detectors in the engine compartment in 2068. Obviously a budgetary thing I’m sure. That’s a pretty major engineering fashion faux pas right there people!

Oh, and Captain Scarlet takes the boat out to sea and it goes boom. Was Captain Scarlet killed there and he came back, or did he have a lucky escape? It’s sort of hinted at in the story that he might have been a bit killed there and come back, but you know what he’s like. He’s pretty cavalier with his safety.

And then we’re treated to some super-marionation dressing gowns, which I imagine Sylvia Anderson designed. And because of the marionation, you can’t really show their knees or their full legs or anything like that. So I hope the House of Verdain doesn’t have any swimsuits in their parade, or those marionettes are in trouble.

Interesting that the Mysteron Detector sank with Verdain’s motor yacht. Maybe if someone had turned it on when everybody was getting on board, this would’ve been a bit of a shorter episode. How about Captain Scarlet? Nothing funny in his water? No? Yet, why didn’t they turn on the Mysteron detector? Are they trying to save batteries? Does it belong to someone else and they worry about wearing it out?

Hang on a minute! There’s a report that Captain Black has been seen in Monte Carlo. Well, everybody knows that the Mysterons are mad for Keno. “I was one number away from winning the meat tray …”

Oh, and check out the Dickies at the cocktail party. Multi-colored Dickies people! This is fancy. This is a rare crowd scene for super-marionation. There’s over a dozen marionettes at this party, look at ’em all crammed in there. You don’t see many scenes like this.

Now, of course, they’re worried about Verdain. They want to keep a track on him. So, at the cocktail party Captain Scarlet drugs Verdain’s drink. It’s a homing drug, a bit like an edible or LSD or something. You put that in someone’s drink and they’re pretty easy to find or spot in a crowd, let me tell you. Woohoo! There’s real hands used at multiple times during this episode, particularly with the drugging and the poking and looking around and the light switch.

Captain Black turns up outside Verdain’s hotel window. And by the way, yeah, Captain Black’s fashion, take a look at him there. Looks a bit like, uh, an original member of Dexy’s Midnight Runners with that longshoreman look.

And here’s an example of Captain Scarlet not being the brightest color in the Spectrum rainbow, by not being suspicious of the model with her thumb suspiciously hovering over the room’s light switch: looks at her, looks back at the window, looks at her … oops! the lights go out. And Andre Verdain is shot with a drugged dart, which isn’t really as unusual as you’d expect at one of these fashion parties. It’s the person who doesn’t get the dart that complains.

And this is also one of the rare cases where they capture a Mysteron: the model with the light switch. She’s there! They could capture her! You see Captain Scarlet rumbles Gabrielle knowing that she didn’t fly in because it was fog bound. Aha! She must have been googly-eyed Mysteroned.

But there’s something about the outrageous French accent when she says “You have lost Earth Man” in the French accent, just doesn’t quite seem as menacing as usual.

So we don’t know exactly why the Mysterons have kidnapped Verdain, but Captain Scarlet goes after them in a fast red car. And the Angels go off to get a helicopter. Captain Blue goes off to get the Spectrum pursuit vehicle. Who’s looking after the Mysteron agent they captured, Gabrielle? “You sit here, don’t move, or you’re in so much trouble.”

Nice bit of spycraft here as Captain Blue gets the SPV that’s hidden in a casino. Mind you, he had to play three rounds of Keno to get it out.

And Captain Black really wants to keep Verdain alive. And also what’s happened here with Captain Scarlet? Did he have a crash again? “He’s crashed.” “Good.” Did he actually just get killed then in the red car? His refractory period after dying is pretty impressive. He’s up and about in no time. Also, this is probably the most dialogue I’ve seen Captain Black have when he is talking to Helga. He has a lot to say, but we still don’t know why they want him alive and we still have no idea what their plan is.

They notify the French police and they pull the old French police roadblock trick on Captain Black and the crew. “Look, the exit’s blocked.” “Come out of ze car with your ‘ands up.” So what do they do? They throw Verdain out of the car in a way that it seems they didn’t really want to kill him, cause they could have done that while he was in the car. And then they do the old “don’t look now, we’ve just teleported ourself and the car of here”.

The Mysterons seem to disappear with the same noise as the TARDIS, giving Verdain a bit of existential angst on witnessing the car and the Mysterons just disappear. Also witnessed by the French police, which is not commented upon at all. Look, it’s a French holiday resort. The French police probably see that sort of thing all the time.

If the Mysterons can just teleport themselves out of places, why don’t they do it more often? And if they could, why didn’t they take Verdain with them? Why are they even using a car at all? And of course Verdain’s just tripping balls after seeing this. “Verdain, are you all right?” “I saw it with my own eyes! It vanished! The Saloon just vanished into thin air!” But some silver tongued hand waving from Captain Scarlet resolves everything and gets us out of this. “The Mysterons have powers we cannot hope to understand. Let’s get back to the hotel.”

So Captain Blue has a pretty okay episode. The Angels get fabulous gowns at the end of the episode, and Captain Scarlet got killed twice, probably, and oh no, he’s not bitter: “Yes, I’m all right.”

Just a few questions here for Tony Barwick, the script editor: Gabrielle the Mysteron agent. What happened to her? Did they send her downstairs to play Keno? Did she actually win that meat tray? And what were they actually going to do with Verdain? They could have killed him two or three times over. And where were they going to take him to and what were they going to do with him when they got him there? They almost captured a Mysteron agent! Did she teleport herself out? Did she give them a gown as a bribe? Oh no there’s a lot of unanswered questions in this one, but it’s a fairly fabulous episode fashion wise. And there is that cool music: “Cocktail Time”. 2068 – the sound of jazz flute.

I love Captain Scarlet. It’s dark, but it’s still fun. And if you think this is dark, take a look at Joe 90 sometime.

Captain Aubergine, Spectrum, Sydney, Australia signing off. And remember, there’s nothing suspicious about hovering your finger over a light switch at a cocktail party.

Listen to Maynard’s take on Captain Scarlet episode Operation Time

See the passing of 2023 and hope it’s better than any previous Maynard calendar.

A year of goofin’ off prepared by Richard Saunders

Simply download it from the link below and print it any size you like.

Suitable for hanging behind any door…

A Very Maynard Xmas is the highlight of the year for people who don’t get out a lot. The extravaganza purports to have a level of Xmas pageantry rarely seen in Australia. This year the spotlight occasionally falls on “unimpressed Germans”: witness attempts by a handful of varied musicians that fail to crack a smile on that Germanic dial.

Our guests dropping by this year include Tim Ferguson, Lesley Fountain, Chris Kelly from Ship O Fools, Brigitte Handley, Christopher Laird, Tony Push, Frank Bennett, George Hrab, Mari Wilson, “Weird” Al Yankovic, 3 pugs and loads of Yuletide surprises.

A Very Maynard Xmas 2022 promises you almost two hours of Xmas entertainment you probably won’t be able to describe to friends afterwards. “There was this guy in a suit and Toyah, a bugle, fire, Vegemite, Mari Wilson cursed a fig tree & a Dark Wave guy held up signs in his pyjamas while someone read a poem in Dymocks”.

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2021

Watch A Very 2020 Maynard Xmas.