Tag Archives: Oxford Street

Lunch with Lance Leopard

Time for a serious Oxford Street lunch with Lance Leopard, but not till after an even more serious viewing of Valley of the Dolls, a movie Lance agrees is a “great starting point for any camp movie collection’.

Join Maynard as he visits Lance Leopard, high in his ivory tower of scuttlebutt, where all secrets are hidden and revealed, overlooking the inhospitable wilds of Darlinghurst.

Topics covered in this show include, Delilah, The Gibson Brothers, Madonna’s movie career, Jane Fonda, Liberace, Marilyn Monroe on the piano, Bill Collins, Village People, Claire de Lune, Joe Hasham and ABBA.

Lance declares two “stupid films” that should never have been made. While Maynard gets the best scene from Tank Girl wrong.

And the next time someone you know isn’t getting what you are saying, just do what Lance does, and ask them; “can you hear the drums Fernando?”.

Lance did have a few other things he wished to be quoted on;

“I’m glad you’re working hard on this show Maynard, I’m as lazy as Dean Martin.”

“I thought the Madonna film Body of Evidence was a great film in a genre I’ve made up called faux Hitchcock.”

“Madonna can act, when she’s directed well and she’s not the leading character.”

“My favourite Bond film is Moonraker, it’s James Bond in space AND Shirley Bassey belts out the theme song.”

“I ironed Neil Tenant’s pants once backstage because the Pet Shop Boys wardrobe assistant had gone missing at The Phoenix Bar on ecstasy or something. I blame the gays.”

“I have long arms, so it never looks like I’m taking a selfie. It looks like I’m just waving.”

“I’ve been called a gay icon, and I’ve been called worse.”

“Now a new audience has rediscovered me, I’m trapped with my quiff, my perfect eyebrows and my matte complexion.”

” Now that I’m older, I’ve realised timing and lighting is EVERYTHING.”

Enjoy your lunch with Lance, see you at the buffet….

Maynard’s 1989 interview with Jackie O’Sullivan of Bananrama during their Australian tour

Madonna in Lance’s favourite scene from Dick Tracey, love that dialogue.

Lunch with Lance. Lance Leopard enjoys some Valley of the Dolls Karaoke.
Lance Leopard enjoys some Valley of the Dolls Karaoke.

Hellfire Club Pops Cherries at The Shift

This show is ribald, lewd and not for the faint hearted.

It was a decadent night of openings and virgins as The Sydney Hellfire Club took over its brand new venue, the storied Midnight Shift. Success was guaranteed long before the doors swung open, with a crowd at least a hundred deep waiting to ascend the staircase and take their place in kinky history.

Mistress Ultra (the badass boss) didn’t mind professing to a few opening night nerves, revealing that a new venue is like being a virgin all over again. I couldn’t help likening it to resewing the Hellfire Hymen. Plenty of exciting moments await you inside, including a ridiculously hot combination of Christa Hughes, Nicky Bryson and DJ Sveta describing an Australian first double-stacked suspension performed by DV8 House.

Come… spend the night with Maynard at the Hellfire Club.

6/08/2015