Category Archives: Retro

Gene Pitney 2003

Gene Pitney toured Australia in October 2003. It was his last time in Australia as he died while on tour in the UK in 2006. I caught up with him at the beginning of that 2003 tour in Sydney. He told me the stories behind some of his iconic songs, from 1961’s Town Without Pity to his collaboration with Marc Almond in 1989, Something’s Got A Hold Of My Heart.

Cover of 1963 Gene Pitney album World Wide Winners
1963 Gene Pitney album World Wide Winners

Maynard: Gene Pitney, welcome once again to Australia.
Gene: Thank you very much, Maynard.
Maynard: How many times all up now?
Gene: A hundred.
Maynard: A hundred times. It feels like that, hey?
Gene: I don’t really know, but I think at least a dozen times since the early sixties.
Maynard: Do you remember the first tour? Was it very strange to be so far away?
Gene: The very first tour was with a bunch of Brits, I think it was when the, uh, so-called British Invasion happened, and it was Dusty Springfield, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Brian Poole and the Tremolos and me.
Maynard: Who was your major competition when you were first starting out? Who was the person you really had to worry about?
Gene: I never, ever thought of it in that direction at all. I just loved what I was doing, loved having the opportunity of being out there, and there wasn’t an awful lot of that around at that time. I think there was a great camaraderie in the sixties. People would join in and if somebody was doing a session, they would say, if you’re a town or something and you run into ’em, they’d say, come on, stop by and see what’s going on. There was no really great competition. The competition was the audience going out and seeing how good a show you could do.
Maynard: One of the strangest connections I’ve found with you is you’ve got a Rolling Stones connection.
Gene: Well, it was political to begin with. My publicist in the UK, Andrew Loog Oldham, was the Rolling Stonesí first manager. As a result, we got to know each other. I had never ever seen a guy with long hair like that before. Nothing like they are now. When they first started out, they had really, really long past the shoulders type hair, you know? And I remember I had a guy traveling with me from home in Connecticut, and he took a picture. That was when Brian Jones was still alive and in the group. When he got home, he showed it to his wife and she said, who are those four ugly broads? They were not pretty with the long hair, I’ll tell you, at the time.
Maynard: You ended up doing a bit of work with them and, and swapping songs?
Gene: Yeah. Well, we, we didn’t do any tours together, but we, did a lot of television together and a lot of promotion when they were out with their first recordings. They had a song that they had actually recorded with a guy named George Bean. They didn’t like the way it came out and they played it for me and I loved the track. I loved the orchestration on it. So I said to them, look, if you let me rewrite the melody to it so it fits what I’m doing, and having the success with, I’d love to take a crack at doing a vocal on it. So we went back in the same recording studio, Olympia Studios in London. I did the vocal with the harmonies on it, and it came out excellent. So I sent it back to New York first and they put it out to go on the US charts. At the time I was new to the business, the Rolling Stones were brand new to the business and hadn’t had that much success. It was just another thing that we were doing.
Maynard: How do you find the business part of the music business?
Gene: Unfortunately, it’s gotten way over that side of it now. When I first started, it was the music side. There were a lot of companies that were run by eccentrics that made it really interesting. People like George Goldner, I remember in New York, and Hy Weiss, people that ran a lot of the small independent labels. They were really characters. George Goldner was always with his big giant cigar. I’ll give you an instance: the guy that brought me to New York the first time brought me into George Goldner’s office to see if he would record me. I was in an outer office that had a piano and he came crashing through the door and said ìSing!î And I was just a green kid from this little town in Connecticut, you know? And I said ìJesus, you know, who is this?î So I sat down and I played a couple of the songs I had been writing and he said ìStop!î He said ìWhen is your birthday?î And I said ìFebruary 17th.î And he said ìSign him, he said he’s an Aquarius.î But I didn’t know anything about the star signs at the time, and I thought the guy said I was an aquarium. So when he went back in his office and stormed off again, I told the guy I was traveling with, I said ìThis guy’s nutsî and I said ìI’m outta here!î So we left and vanished, and years later he heard the story back and he came to me somewhere we were, and he was roaring laughing. He says ìI can’t believe I lost you as an artist ’cause you thought I called you an aquarium!î, but those were the guys that ran the industry and they were bigger than life. Unfortunately, now it’s more like all accountants, it’s all money and it’s all bottom line and it doesn’t have the same ring to it that it had then, the same excitement value.
Maynard: You’re touring Australia again, you’ve said that there’s no way you could do two thirds of a show. You’ve always given and gotten a full show out. A lot of your songs are gut-retching, emotional songs. How do you go through this every night?
Gene: Uh, it’s not difficult. They’re great songs and I love that part of it. I love performing. When I say that I can’t do a shortened version or anything like that. Let’s say I had food poisoning, which I’ve gotten two or three times, you know, and really felt awful, and somebody would say to me, ìJust do an easy show, just go out and do a light showî, I can’t, I cannot do that kind of a show. I have to still put 150% into it. It’s funny. It’s so healing to do that. I’ve actually gone out feeling miserable. I had a wicked cold, I remember, one night, everything was possibly wrong, that could go wrong, except – and I got it ñ the nosebleed. Came on while the orchestra was playing the overture, and I got that cleared up just in time to walk out on stage. When I walked off and did the whole show, I felt terrific.
Maynard: Did it cheer you up? Did it put you up spiritually?
Gene: I don’t know whether the adrenaline or whatever it is, is self-healing or what, but if you can get through it, you put everything you got into it and walk off, have a good night’s sleep, a lot of times everything goes away. You’re okay.
Maynard: A lot of people ask you, is our Australian audience very different?
Gene: People always ask me that ’cause they expect different countries to be different. But I’m not sure whether it’s because of the songs that I have or the type of performer that I am, but I find it pretty much the same, the world over wherever I go. I don’t really find that much of a difference in an audience.
Maynard: You play Las Vegas, you do a lot of the casinos there. What is the audience like there? They’re a bit older, are they? Sometimes their attention wanders from time to time?
Gene: They’re all the same. I just played the Stardust for a week in Las Vegas, just a couple weeks back. I was trying to explain to somebody that people go there and get nervous. It’s almost like going to a big venue like the London Palladium or Carnegie Hall. The thing you have to remember is that those are virtually the same people that come to any other show in any other place. Just because they’re in here doesn’t change anything, you know? When they’re in a casino, they’re people that have come from all walks of life, all over the, all the country, all over the world. I had people there that are really aficionados that fly into all my shows. I had people in the front row from Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Chicago to those that flew all the way from Yorkshire in England. A hell of a long trip. If I was to go there. You know, I’m not knocking it. I think it’s wonderful that they do that.
Maynard: I hope you signed a CD for them, after all that.
Gene: It’s not a different type of an audience. It’s the same audience.
Maynard: ìThe Man Who Shot Liberty Valanceî.
Gene: It was never in the film at all. It’s the weirdest thing. I still don’t know to this day why. It would’ve been terrific in the film, whether I sang it or not. But because of the success of the motion picture theme that I had prior to that, Town Without Pity, a whole pile of different film scores came in and offers saying, ìWould you like to record this?î One came in and it was directed by John Ford. It had Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, Lee Marvin, music by Bacharach and David. I mean, how do you turn that down? Paramount Pictures paid me to record the session. With all the kinds of perks that went along with it to do it. Then the film came out without the song in it. I’m sure it had something to do with business. It was something to do with politics, business. I have a feeling the publisher told the writers, Bacharach and David, that I’ve got the deal with Paramount for this picture. The writers did talking to Paramount, and something about it was back and forth and something went wrong with it. I’ll tell you the weirdest part about it – I found this out about five years ago – the music that was in the film was the score from a 1938 Henry Fonda film called Young Mr. Lincoln. The only connection being that John Ford directed both films. I don’t know whether they recycled it at the last minute for some reason because of this problem with the song, I don’t really know, but it’s one of those mysteries.
Maynard: Town Without Pity is one of your gut-wrenching emotional ballads.
Gene: Again, it was a political situation. I recorded for a small label called Musicor, and Musicor was distributed by United Artists Records, which were owned by United Artists Films who produced the movie. So by way of all those conduits, it came back to me being the artist on Musicor and they said, ìWe want you to record this song for the motion picture.î
Maynard: What’d you think of it at first?
Gene: Oh, I was scared to death of it. I listened to it and I thought I wouldn’t write a song like that, I wouldn’t pick a song like that to record.
Maynard: Is it because of the range involved in it?
Gene: No, it’s a very odd song. It’s still an odd song today. Even after the success, and hearing it many, many, many times, it’s a very unusual score. It’s to do with Dimitri Tiomkin writing the music, I think brilliant and beautifully done, but odd. And I thought, how do I approach this? How do I sing it? What do I do to get into it? I tried like a lot of different things, but because of the way that the melody flows and everything. Finally I realised that all I could do was sing it straight, as straight a version as I possibly could. I flew to Los Angeles my first time ever there. Went in the studio at about eight o’clock at night, and Aaron Schroeder, the producer, was with Dimitri Tiomkin in the booth. Now, this was a time when you’re recording, everything is done live. So all the musicians that were there, all the singers were there, the background singers and everything. Every time that they said, ìYeah, that was all right, but let’s do it again this way.î Everybody had to do it again. This went on from eight o’clock at night to four o’clock in the morning. I’m running out of throat and it’s going away rapidly.
Maynard: How many takes did you think you did?
Gene: Oh, I don’t know. I have no idea. All night long we sang this thing over and over and over and they were trying to find something to make it unique. What happened was that what started out being ìwhen you are young and so in loveî became (raspy) ìwhen you’re young and soî, and they said, ìThat’s it! That’s what we’re looking for, that’s the sound!î All you gotta do is record eight hours straight and you’ll get it like a raspy throat.
Maynard: How did that duplicate on stage now? Because you’re much more relaxed now.
Gene: I don’t even attempt to do that. I listen to it. It doesn’t sound as raspy as I thought it was on the night, but whatever it was, it made it very, very successful.
Maynard: You like to sing songs that have stories in them. 24 Hours from Tulsa is a classic. It’s got a beginning, it’s got an end. It’s a story song. Does that make it easier for you on stage, like you’re telling a story.
Gene: No, not easier, but I love strong lyric content and strong melodic content in any song no matter what kind of it is. I just think that today that’s really lacking in music.
Maynard: Have you heard anything lately that you really like?
Gene: My favourite CD from last year is David Gray with White Ladder. I love what the guy does. I love the way he approaches things. He has very unusual lyric approach. Very, very interesting melodic approach, and I think that the kind of songs that he does are the kind of songs that I would need to fit the niche that would be applicable to me today. In other words, if you’ve had songs that are from, primarily the sixties and you’re getting played by an oldies station, oldies stations don’t play any new music. So if I’m gonna record new stuff today, it’s gotta fit what’s happening out there today. I don’t wanna be competitive in the rock genre that’s out there right now. I would like to be competitive in somewhere that I can fit. I think the David Gray stuff is right up my alley. That’s the kind of stuff I like.
Maynard: Do you do a lot of recording at home?
Gene: Yes, I have a recording studio at home with Pro Tools. The high end of it, and it’s amazing what you can do.
Maynard: In the sixties, you had to get the whole band there playing live, and now you can look at the wave form in front of you on the computer.
Gene: But it’s a double-edged sword. I really think that the pressure of recording when we did all the sessions in the sixties, that you had to get, if you could, you tried for three songs in a three hour session. But you tried to sneak in the fourth one in the last like 10 or 15 minutes while the musicians were there. But I had to do the vocals and it was the finished vocal that was gonna come off of that. You didn’t overdub, you didn’t redo the vocals. I don’t really know why. But you didn’t do it at the time. But I think because of the pressure of saying, ìThis is it, this is the moment, it has to be done now, and it has to be the best.î That’s where you got those great performances from in the song. I think that now, because of the opportunities you have with a million tracks and all the stuff that you can layer on top of it and everything, I don’t think you get that intensity anymore when you’re recording. I still like to start from the beginning and go to the end in order one time through. I don’t like the majority of things that you hear today, that are contemporary music are done piecemeal, line by line.
Maynard: Sample.
Gene: Yeah. Sample by sample, especially.
Maynard: Something’s Got a Hold of my Heart. Your original version was fantastic. You did it again with Marc Almond.
Gene: Right.
Maynard: He’s a wild guy. A leather guy. The film clip looks pretty wild. How did you two ever get together? I couldn’t imagine you were bumping into each other in the same bar.
Gene: No, it was one of the strangest things of all time. That’s one of the reasons I did it. I was on a UK tour. I was in Bristol, I remember, and I had a call from my agent and he said, ìHow would you like to rerecord one of your songs that was a hit with Marc Almond?î I didn’t know who Marc was. When he said Soft Cell, I knew Tainted Love, ’cause Tainted Love is like a standard now all over the world, you know? I thought about it and it meant relearning the song his way, then going overnight into London and recording at 10:00 am. Marc Almond wasn’t even there – Marc was in the States doing promotion. So I had to go in and do my version of it, and then go on after that up north where my next concert date was. I was tired. I was halfway through a tour, but then I thought, no, you gotta do it. Because it’s so off the wall. This whole concept of doing it this way, these are the things that always work.
Maynard: How did it change? How did your vocal change for it to make it fit in with Marc?
Gene: It wasn’t my vocal change. He rearranged the song. His approach to the song was totally different, and where he went with the redoing the verses and the end, he changed. He does these staccato things that changed the complete last verse, prior to going into the chorus again. His orchestration was totally different. It was like a nineties orchestration as opposed to the lush strings that were on it the original time around. But anyway, I went and did it, did my full three versions, and then left them, went on the tour, not thinking much more about it. Next time I heard it, Marc Almond had come back, done his three versions of it, cut ’em up and put ’em together. It sounded like we were standing next to each other and I never met Marc!
The song came out. It was an instant smash. I never met him until about three months later, doing the video in Las Vegas.
Maynard: Yes. You did it in the Neon Junk Yard.
Gene: Oh, what a place. Most exciting thing I think I’ve probably ever done in my entire career. The Neon Junkyard, I mean, where else in the world could you have a neon junkyard of all neon signs. But in Las Vegas? What they did was brilliant. They took a lot of the old signs and they hot-wired them. They didn’t try to fix any. Parts of them lit up. Parts of them didn’t light up. Only the ones that had the gas left in them, the neon gas in it. It was absolutely freezing. I didn’t realise how cold it gets at night in winter time. During the day you were, okay.
Maynard: Well, you probably haven’t been left in the desert too often, I wouldn’t think.
Gene: No, but I don’t know why, I go to Las Vegas at the time. I just thought was always warm. You know, it was so bad that the camera crew that were on the moving up and down things that were doing all the shots from the top were swaddled in blankets with belts around them. With big fur hats on over their ears and everything. It was that cold. It was so cold, I ended up with a ginormous headache the next day. We started at the Tropicana and then finished shooting in the desert probably about two or three in the morning. We were in the desert. On the stage, all those bright lights, and the sound was brilliant. They had this huge sound system, which was booming across the desert, and we had to go into the trailers to get warm. Then when they were ready for it, they would start the music and we would run out and start our parts again. You know, by the time the evening was over, it was just a thrilling experience.
Maynard: It Hurts to be in Love. Where did that song come from and how did you feel about it?
Gene: Well, I loved it. It was one of the weirdest things, because I went in, I called up a publisher and said, ìI have a session coming up. What do you got to show me?î
Maynard: It’s a real pop song.
Gene: Oh, yeah. When I heard it, when the publisher played it for me, it was Neil Sedaka. Singing the song and singing it very well. I said to the guy, ìThat’s a hit song. Why are you playing that for me by Sedaka?î And he said, Neil had just changed record labels. He went to RCA Victor and the new producer at RCA Victor didn’t want anything that was from the baggage that came along with Neil from the old place, and that was one of the songs he had cut before. So Neil said to him, ìPut it out and get somebody to record it.î It was so good that I said to the guy, ìCan I get that track?î The track is so good, we can’t do it any better. So we went into Dick Charles studios on Seventh Avenue. Same place he had recorded it, used his track, and I got Toni Wine who sang the answers in the background. She came in and sang the answers again and I learned his harmony. So what you’re listening to is Gene Pitney singing Neil Sedaka on It Hurts to be in Love and prove the point that it was a hit. It was a giant hit record.
Maynard: Whatís coming up next? You’ve got your tour of Australia coming up. You’re gonna have little rest after?
Gene: Not yet. I get home on November 2nd, and I go to upstate New York, playing Turning Stone Casino on the eighth. Then I have a family vacation that we go on every year down to Providenciales in the Turks and Caicos Islands, in the Caribbean. That’s in November. Then December, there’s two days at the Grand Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. Then I run like an idiot trying to get through Christmas as I usually do every year.
Maynard: What happens at a Pitney Family Christmas? What goes on?
Gene: Ah, it’s a big gathering of all the family, at the house. My middle son is even bringing his dog this year. So we’re gonna have everything and anything, you know, and hopefully if it’s a snowy Christmas, it’ll be wonderful. All the fireplaces are lit and everybody has a big Christmas dinner and, it’s a good time. Then I start all over again next year.
Maynard: We look forward to seeing you here, maybe then. Gene Pitney, thank you.
Gene: Thanks Maynard.

Gene Pitney CD cover signed "to Maynard".
Essential Gene Pitney CD cover signed

Elvira’s Haunted Hills

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark shot her spooky movie in Eastern Europe in 2001 with her then partner Mark Pierson (they divorced in 2003) and was more than happy to tell me ALL about it. (the movie, not the divorce)

Elvira and Richard O'Brien in a scene from Elviras Haunted Hills 2001.
Elvira and Richard O’Brien acting up in the woods.

Maynard: Cassandra Peterson. Why has it taken so long for a second movie? Is there an easy answer for that?

Elvira: I’ve been out there selling movies ever since my first one came out. First, the studio went bankrupt, then I wrote another one, sold it again. Then the studio executive changed and he put the kibosh on that project.
Elvira: Finally, my only answer was to make it myself or I just never get another movie out.

Maynard: You and Mark are partners.

E: That is correct

M: Must put a lot of strain on any relationship and to have to shoot the movie in Romania. How do you two get on so well?

E: Who said we got on so well? Who are you talking to? It is tough. It is tough to work together and to be married. It’s really difficult and we’ve been doing it for 23 years. I think that’s a world’s record here in Hollywood. Look, I think we should get an Academy Award just for that.

M: You shot the movie in Romania. You used a lot of your own money, I believe. I’ve heard the figure mentioned of 1 million American dollars. Is that about roundabout the budget or is it more than that?

E: Actually under that, to shoot it, by the time we finished it with all the post-production, the music and everything else, it was about a million and a half dollars for the whole thing, which seems like a lot of money to a regular person just slogging away at a job, but for a movie, that’s a spit in the bucket, it is. Absolutely nothing. Compare that to any movie made by a big studio right now, and it’s, that’s what the costs are for the catering.

M: Elva Haunted Hills was made in Romania, and you got Richard O’Brien for it.Richard O’Brien is best known for the Rocky Horror Show and for his work on stage and his musical work. How did you get him?

E: It was just a fluke. I tell you. It was so strange. We actually had signed Richard Chamberlain, which is so strange. Of Thornbirds fame. I’m sure you’ve heard of Dr. Kildare? Richard is a very good friend and I thought he would be fantastic playing the part because I always saw a big similarity, believe it or not, this is a compliment for me to say this. Between him and Vincent Price. They’re both stage actors. They both have this look about them, that they’re Americans, but they seem like they come from England. So we were going ahead with Richard until he actually got a job that paid money. I don’t know why, but he took that one.

M: He ditched you?

E: He did, but in a nice way. We didn’t feel too bad. He actually had a job, like I said, that was going to pay rather better than we were. My brother-in-law, who’s from Romania mentioned that he knew Richard O’Brien. I was like, oh my God, that is so perfect. And we called Richard and he said, I’d love to do it. And that was that.

M: I couldn’t believe that you actually had all these fantastic sets built. You had all these amazing things built that just did not seem within your budget at all.

E: That’s Romania for you, and that’s why we had to go there to do this. We could have never built these sets. We really wanted the very same look that all the old Roger Corman and Hammer films had. We even took pictures to these set designers in Romania of what those particular sets look like, and My God, they did such an incredible job. We were just blown away. We had no idea that they were going to do that amazing of a job for the money we were paying them.

M: Films like The Pit and the Pendulum.

Elvira: Another one was Haunted Palace and the House of Usher. The movie was set in the 1800s.

M: But you didn’t have to dress any of the locals any differently, did you?

E: No, we didn’t even have to dress any of the locals. They came as they were. People are always saying, oh my God, where’d you get these?
Fabulous costumes and the peasants carrying the sickle and the scythe would be herding the geese. As I said, we just walked out the door and there they were. One of the, my favourite moments in the movie is the musical number from the show.

M: Because you’re a showgirl, you’re touring your show.

Elvira: Big musical number, which comes outta nowhere there.

M: I thought you, you could have put a few more musical numbers in there.

E: Exactly. That’s what I thought too. I originally wanted the film to be a musical, kind of in the style of Rocky Horror, but that would’ve probably tripled our budget because just to shoot that one number took an entire day.
That may not seem like a lot, but when you just have a two and a half week schedule, a one day is a lot of time.

M: Within the budget, there was the money for some State orchestra to play the score for you.

Elvira: We went all the way to Russia to have this done, and it was done by the Russian Symphony Orchestra who were incredible and again, costs, a dime on the dollar of what we would’ve paid over here.

Maynard: In Romania was you couldn’t get a good stunt double, could you?

E: I couldn’t get a good stunt double. No. We got maybe the only female stunt girl that we could find. She unfortunately was missing a couple of things that she needed to play Elvira.

M: You have a rather voluptuous figure, which not all stunt doubles would probably have. It’d probably be a bad thing for their profession to, to have the, yeah.

Elvira: That, yeah. True. It just gets in the way. It could be a good thing, it does help cushion your falls, but that’s true. I don’t know. She was. Flat as a board. A wonderful girl and very talented as a stunt person, but flat as a board. So when it came to the scene for the pit and the pendulum, I actually had to do my own stunt work, which doesn’t seem like much to lay around all day on a slab.
But when you think about a 500 pound pendulum, even though it was made from fiberglass, it still weighed 500 pounds and it was so sharp, hanging right over your nose and swinging back and forth for several hours. Let me tell you that, that was no picnic.

M: I thought, on your right boob, there was a mark.

Elvira: Actually, there was a scratch mark there. What I did I there was I took a deep breath and the blade swung past me and made quite a large scratch across my breast. So just imagine if I would’ve sat up, I really think I would’ve been split in two. Anything that’s 500 pounds swinging back and forth at you, if it hits you going at quite a speed it’s not gonna be good. It was pretty damn frightening. I gotta tell you.

M: I heard you were gonna retire the Elvira character. Is that true? You gonna do some more Elvira work? What’s gonna happen Cassandra?
E: I’m working on a few projects right now. Another film that’ll probably be for video, it’s for a younger audience and it’s a film of one of the books I wrote a few years ago Camp Vamp, but I am moving the character toward eventually someone else playing the character.
I’m also working on an animation project right now, which is great because, I don’t have to look good. Also, I’ve been doing various voiceovers for a new channel here in United States called the Monster Channel, and I’ve been doing a lot of voiceovers for them. But eventually I’d love to see someone like, anybody, Angelina Jolie or whatever, play Elvira in another film.
To stretch herself as an actress in her most challenging role.

M: How do you cast that? If you had to say in a paragraph, this is what the character is and this is what you’ve gotta do, what would you say?

E: Oh my God, actress wanted to wear slinky dress, must have generous physical attributes and be pretty confident.

M: And sassy.

E: Sassy! That’s it sassy.

M: If nothing else, you are sassy or Elvira. I think we’ve sum up the whole character in one word there. Elvira’s Haunted Hills, it’s at video shops around the nation at this moment. What’s your favourite scene? What’s the one we should look out for?

Elvira: I think my favourite scene is the kind of the love scenes that I do with the handsome hunk, who I am chasing throughout the film. The guy we hired only spoke Romanians, so we dubbed his voice, dubbed it in the old style from the old fifties and sixties. Old Hercules films, very bad dubbing job.
That scene just cracks everybody up. It’s hilarious. I’m talking to him. He’s the only person who’s dubbed in the entire film. When you’re first watching it, you’re just like, what? What? Huh? It really throws you for a minute. Tthat was just a lucky mistake because we couldn’t find a guy with big muscles and long hair who could speak English.
So we took what we could get and it turned out to be a big asset.

Maynard: Cassandra, could you give us a big Elvira goodbye and we’ll see you next project.

Elvira: Alrighty. Unpleasant dreams, darling! from Elvira.

What were The Porkers drinking in 2008?

Pete Porker drops by in 2008 to fill us in on all things Porker.

The Porkers are the mightiest ska band to hail from Newcastle and then end up playing US and Japan. They were never meant to be taken lightly. Despite the title of their videography “Persistence Is Futile”.

What is their history? What are their dreams and ambitions?

Learn none of that. But maybe enjoy your time with Pete Porker himself as he spills the pork beans on the state of The Porkers in 2008.

Also hear 3 tracks from their 2007 release This Is The Porkers.

The Porkers album cover. This Is The Porkers 2007
This Is The Porkers 2007

All you ever need to know about The Porkers official website

Maynard: Not very often in the history of broadcasting do you meet? An epic legend the size of the guy I’m about to speak to now. Pete Porker, 1500 years, when first Settlers landed here, he was on the shore playing ska, weren’t you, Pete? Hello? Yes. It’s the a, the, the voice of wisdom here. How long have the porkers been together as a Newcastle institution ska?

Pete Porker: Yeah, as of this November, it is 20 years since we played our first gig. And what was that first gig? That first gig was a house party in Bar Beach. Uh, a few friends of mine had a, uh, a share house that was, uh, marked for demolition and we played the, uh, the house wrecking party.

Maynard: And did it go well? Did you go, Hey, this is what I wanna do for 20 years?

Pete Porker: I dunno whether it was, whether I said that at the time, but it went so well. It was like everyone was saying, you’ve gotta play again, you’ve gotta play again, and the house got suitably wrecked.

Maynard: So ska has always been your thing. And look to the uninitiated. Ska could easily be explained as very fast reggae, but that’s not correct.

Pete Porker: Not exactly. Actually the father of reggae. So it came before reggae, but that is a good way to explain it. And that’s probably how I’ve explained it to a lot of people over the years. It’s if you take a, for example, if you take a bit of reggae. A bit of early r and b, a bit of rock and roll, add some brass to it, like early rock and roll had, and you’ve got ska, but the way the porkers have played it, it’s always been a quite bastardized version it’s always well as it should be because you aren’t Jamaican guys in Jamaica. You’re doing your own Newcastle version. Yeah, man, look, when I first encountered you guys, I loved you guys. I’ve played lots of gig with you guys. There’s much history. Look, a lot of, people ask me about the band.

Maynard: What was it? What was the story with Pork Man? Pork Man was part of the band for a while. A mystery Mexican wrestler looking kind of guy who was Pork Man in relation to the Porkers. What was Pork Man or, or, or what was he in relation to the Porkers? That’s a great question. We’re still asking ourselves.

Pete Porker: He was he was on board for a while as our mascot, as our mc, and many other dancing guy Mc guys in other ska bands like say chess smash from madness. He wouldn’t get off after the introduction and stayed on stage. Danced around and,

Pete Porker: caused mayhem and became an entity in himself.

Pete Porker: And he was a hard drinker. He was a hard drinker, and he was a hard drinker and a soft man and that just run into troubles. And I I still remember I’ve got a bit of video of us playing in New York City. He was our last show and on our America tour and Pork Man was there, pork Man was there.

Pete Porker: And I said, a big round of applause for Pork Man who was standing on stage with his pants off. I said. He’s wanted in 20 states and we’ve only been to six. He faded out a little bit. His last official shows were with us in the year 2000, but he started just not turning up to shows.

Pete Porker: And so I can’t actually recall what his last one was. And he didn’t quite go out with a bang, but we did bring him back I think it was about 2003, 2004 for one weekend only in Sydney. And he caused a bit of mayhem then. And, then disappeared into folklore once again. But it’s a, and I like the fact that no one knows actually who he is.

Maynard: ’cause he wore the Mexican wrestler mask all the time. See, it’s a bit like sm I don’t care who ishm are. I don’t want people to tell me who the Melbourne band SM are, who always wear masks. It’s like pork man. I don’t care. It could be Lord Mayor John Tate. In fact, I suspect it might be him. Our lips are sealed.

Maynard: What happened with Ron Hit Lei, the lead singer of SM once someone pulled the mask off him in a gig. And lo and behold, it was some guy you’d never seen before. What’d they think of the pull mask off? Aha. John Farnam? Yeah. What? What? It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t at all.

Pete Porker: And I always said if he was ever unmasked. That was the end. He was dead. He had to just go away like Bruce Wayne and Batman. That’s it. That’s it. I think a couple times he did get unmasked, but he quickly covered himself with either his shirt or pants or somebody else’s. I find it with the pork man would go on stage with no pants, but yet would wear a mask.

Pete Porker: Yes, definitely. He was a man with mixed priorities and the strange thing is about pork man. As I said, it’s been seven years since he’s officially been with the band. But people still come to the shows and go, where’s the pork man? Like they were expecting him to be there and it’s he hasn’t been with us for seven years.

Pete Porker: We dunno where he is. We dunno where he is. Last time we saw him was in Mundo. Yes. He’s gone back to Parts Unknown.

Maynard: This is the pork. Is the new album on the sound system label. And what direction have you taken this time? And has it been, how many albums has it been for the Porkers anyway? How many full albums has it been?

Pete Porker: I think this is our fifth or sixth. We’ve done a couple of mini albums, which weren’t quite full albums and we’ve done a lot of VPs in between there. Lemme think. 1, 2, 3, 4. Yeah. Live. This is our fifth full length album.

Maynard: Let’s have a listen to the first track off the album. It kicks it off. Sangria Alcohol. It’s about traveling. What’s it about?

Pete Porker: Yes, this is a, oh, it’s about everything. It’s actually, this is our our, uh, what is it? Our world music crime, as I call it. It’s a bunch of white guys in Newcastle doing a African themed Jamaican ska song about a South American drink.

Maynard: Ska recorded by the porkers. For the album, This Is The Porkers, your fifth album. And tell me, has it been a difficult album? Do they get harder or easier as you go on?

Pete Porker: Oh, I think everything with the Porkers has got a bit difficult. Difficult, is that a word? Yes. A bit harder. A bit harder as we’ve gone along.

Pete Porker: Oh, keeping the momentum happening and the mo motivation happening for the 20th year of the porkers hasn’t been easy. But in the end the eight new songs that we recorded for this were, came together pretty good. I, myself, I must have complete transparency here.

Maynard: I have been in the band briefly but, but not an official member. I just used to visit, I believe you. My trombone playing was referred to as the Monga Bone.

Pete Porker: The Mongo Bone? Yes. You were actually on our first album and you actually on our website, you’re in the Hall of fame.

Pete Porker: It mentions the the past members, the and the special guest members, and.

Maynard: I love wearing my Porkers shirt. I get a lot of pride because like the Castanet Club that I was in, we had a bit of a uniform to wear and you guys have a bit of, you still have a uniform, you’ve got the official Porkers shirt.

Pete Porker: We try to keep a bit of a theme together. I like the old 50 styles band that used to dress up the same. We have our bowling shirts and we, we change them occasionally.

Maynard: What is a Porkers gig like this to what big ones you got coming up in the near future? Coming up in the near future?

Pete Porker: We’ve got our big official birthday show at the Annandale Hotel on the 23rd of November down in Sydney. That’s our how big official party. And what are you pulling out the hat for that? Rabbits, pigs. All sorts of things. We’re not sure what’s in there, but we’re gonna hopefully gonna have some guests, some ex members. And we’re just hoping the punters will bring the rest of the party.

Maynard: And a good solid stage for you there. Too bit, a little bit most room for most of the band.

Pete Porker: Room for most of the band. It’s a reasonably deep stage so we can get some members at the back. And the other thing is for Newcastle listeners, new Year’s Eve at the Cambridge Hotel is gonna be the big one.

Maynard: I’ve been at a New Year’s Eve gig there with you guys. That gets into a lot of fun there. It, it does. And who got supporting you? You gonna do the whole night? What are you doing?

Pete Porker: No, we’re not doing the whole night tour. We’ve got our young friends from Canberra, the Los Capitals young punk ska band that are also on my label that I’ve taken under my wing.

Maynard: We’ll get to your label in a moment. We’ll play another track off the album Now. Dread man walking. It’s a Newcastle story. I’ll let you explain it, Pete.

Pete Porker: Yes. A lot of people that would know the inner city area of Newcastle would’ve seen an old man that walks around town.

Pete Porker: He’s homeless. So has a carkey raincoat. Is he a carkey raincoat? He changes every decade and gets a new set of clothes, but I think he’s currently in khaki and he’s got a long gray beard. And his hair is one big dreadlock and we wrote a song about him and there’s lots of myths about this man.

Maynard: Yeah. Do you know any actual information that could be true or not?

Pete Porker: No, I don’t actually. My my girlfriend actually looked into it and talked to some people at the Herald who were actually trying to do a story on him at one stage, and not a hell of a lot is actually known about him. What are some of the myths that he can fly or something?

Pete Porker: Something like that. One of the myths is that he’s actually really rich, but just chooses to live this way. And oh, the Howard hug. Syndrome. Yes, the Howard Hughes syndrome. And the other one is that we mentioned in the song that he accidentally killed his wife and kids in a tragic accident.

Pete Porker: And now he walks the streets as his own punishment. But wow, we don’t know. But neither of those stories is confirmed. None, nothing, none whatsoever.

Maynard: And have you ever spoken to him? You ever tried to talk to him?

Pete Porker: I haven’t personally, but once again, my girlfriend has tried to speak to him and other people have tried to give him money and he says very little.

Pete Porker: And acknowledges nobody. The only time that anyone’s ever seen any interaction is when he bought a coffee and a hot dog from the pie cart. But he doesn’t accept money. Apparently not. I think he finds money, but he won’t actually take money from people if you’re giving it to him.

Pete Porker: The Porkers Dread Man Walking from This Is The Porkers.

Maynard: And how would you describe the feel of that song, Pete? Sleazy reggae in, , that, old school Bob Marley feel. One of the songs I always enjoyed about the Porkers over the many years was the one you used to open the act with. That was almost like you were saying hello to everyone in the room.

Pete Porker: So I think that was going off. I think it was. And it was a good track to start with.

Maynard: You are well known for your covers as well as like interesting little originals like that Burning Love your Elvis covers. I’ve always been a bit of a fan of that. Has that been your most successful cover, you think, for The Porkers?

Pete Porker: Our most successful cover, because the ska version of Burning Love, it’s not immediately obvious. No, not at all. Elvis doesn’t scream. ska usually. Not usually, but, he screams, r and b and, that early rock and roll thing. We took, we took Memphis to, Kingston. It, seemed to work for us.

Maynard: Has it, has that ever turned up on an album anywhere or can it.

Pete Porker: It’s on our not bad. Pretty good, not bad EP or mini album, which was , a six tracker that we released way back when. What was it called? Not bad. Pretty good. Not bad.

Maynard: And is that still available?

Pete Porker: That is still available.

Maynard: Can you get yourself on iTunes?

Pete Porker: And, yes, we’re on it. So you can, get most of our releases at iTunes.

Maynard: Tell me, does much of the money funnel back to the artist in something like iTunes in your particular arrangement? I’m not asking for exact figures, but like percentage wise, do you guys actually see much of the money?

Pete Porker: Not a hell of a lot ’cause we , haven’t actually moved a lot out there at the moment.

Pete Porker: And, , it’s still a thing that’s developing. , It’s a reasonable return. I want get to the Pasha Polka

Maynard: But is there one track on this album you really wanna chat about, Pete?

Pete Porker: Something’s wrong with my radio. See, something’s wrong with my radio. This is the cus of the album. Something’s wrong with my radio.

Maynard: I’m wondering is that about the state of radio in Australia or general media? ’cause you guys have been around for 20 years, you’ve been treated well, you’ve been treated shockingly, you’ve been treated all sorts of ways. How would you describe the treatment of the Porkers by the Australian musical media?

Pete Porker: Not very well. I think we, beside yourself we’re one of the Australia’s most ignored bands as that actually managed to keep going. It starts with the local media here in Newcastle. I , we have lots of radio stations in town that are networked from other places, and generally, if you wanna get played across the board on one of those stations, you’ve gotta be on a major label. Simple as that.

Maynard: And what about Triple J? How have they treated you over the years? I know I was always playing you when I was on breakfast.

Pete Porker: Yes. You were. And then just as our career got going, you left there.

Maynard: Hang on. Not by choice. No. I might just add, I never leave any media organization by choice.

Pete Porker: That’s always the way to go.

Maynard: Yes. And then I played you on Channel V.

Pete Porker: Yes. Yes. Beside yourself. , We’ve had a little bit of a airplay on, , Triple J. But uh, I could say. Not enough. Perhaps it’s ’cause you don’t fit into lots of genres. No, we’re, we are. That, we are that, for a long time we, we haven’t been roots, we haven’t been quite punk, but we’re too punk for the Roots Show and we’re too roots for the punk show.

Pete Porker: We’ve always just been that, that ska band with that silly name from Newcastle. That does the songs about beer. It’s been hard for us to, be taken seriously, so the same thing was said about Jimmy Barnes for years and still is. Yes, but except he doesn’t do the beer songs anymore.

Pete Porker: Maybe we need to get that, really, bad drinking or drug habit and then, , announced to the world that it’s all over now. Tara Doyle from, Euphonic. And what is Euphonic? She’s co-written this song, something’s Wrong With My Radio. Yes. She, helped us out with this. This one’s quite poppy and, , it’s not ska at all.

Pete Porker: That’s it. Now I’ve done it. There’s nothing like criticizing the media to have them put you on. I know. I know, ,

Maynard: Have you thought of doing any stunts? The porkers are big on stunts.

Pete Porker: Stunts. Still, , licking our wounds from stunts that we, tried early in the days.

Maynard: We are talking to Pete Porker, by the way, from the Porkers, about their new album. This is the Porkers, their fifth album. Yes. Anyway, and he is trying to get some stunts going here at this point. Some stunt, some stunts. You really didn’t start with a media friendly name in the first place.

Maynard: You, your name was originally the pork hunts. I said it on Triple J, no problem at all. But, did anyone else?

Pete Porker: Very rarely. Very rarely. And the ironic thing was about back in the day we were playing at the Air Force Club here in Newcastle and could play under that name, which sort of.

Pete Porker: Got a reasonable following and wanted to branch out a little bit. And, we got told that we could play at the Tats Club, but we had to change our name. And it was like, okay, alright, it’s time. We’ll just change it to the porkers. That’ll be easier. And I was like, okay. So we got the gig at the Tats Club, came time to, get some posters to the Tats Club and I said to the, the booking guy there.

Pete Porker: Listen, we’ve only got these old ones that say. Pork hunts and, he said, oh yeah, give them give ’em to me. They’ll do. And they put them up anyway, so we didn’t really need to change our name, but it’s probably best that we did. Yes. But possibly I wish we’d, changed it to something a little bit more respectable. ‘Cause isn’t too bad. It gives you, a bunch of fat guys having a good time. Exactly. A bunch of jolly men. Now can we go to my favorite track on the album to finish up with the Pasher Polka. It’s got that Novacastrian thing going on. It’s a Polka, so it’s got that Weird Al thing going on.

Pete Porker: I love that. , It’s got everything that Maynard could want.

Maynard: And what were you doing here? What are you doing here?

Pete Porker: What are we doing here? Well, to be serious, our first single had a song on it called Earthquake, and which was a Newcastle disaster song. Loved it. And we. Thought on our 20th anniversary, we needed another Newcastle disaster song.

Pete Porker: Now that, now if I can remember the lyrics from, earthquake and I, I was lying on my back. That line. Yes. , What is it? It was 10 27. I was with my girl in heaven. I was lying on my back and I got sucked right down that crack. 10, seven hours. Get my girl in heaven. On my back, I got some crack. Earthquake.

Maynard: Earthquake lyrics like that you cannot buy if you went to a lyric salesman. If you went to Lennon and McCartney in their heyday, they couldn’t do that. They wouldn’t offer it to you. The red hot chili peppers, they could under a bridge. Nothing as good as that. Nothing as good as that. Not a thing. No, that is good.

Maynard: Look, we’ll go with the Polka here. This is the Porkers Is it in the shops? This album? It’s in the shops.

Pete Porker: It’s available. You can, get it at ww dot sound system music.com. You can get it at the shows. And don’t forget the big gig on the 23rd of November at the Annandale Hotel in Sydney.

Pete Porker: They’ll be doing this stuff. That we’re doing our stuff and also New Year’s Eve at the Cambridge and plenty other shows in between. Introduce us for us, Pete, I’m sure you were there Skippering the ship as it came in. No, I was stuck in traffic on Hunter Street. I know of all about it. This was the day the big ship came to the beach.

Maynard: Long live the Porkers!

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 – Sat 6th December 8.05pm (Syd)

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 brings you the unexpected festive farce that you’ve come to expect from someone who has inflatable legs for a window.

Here is the link to view A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 for free. It will be live from around 8.15pm Saturday 6th December. Watch along with us and comment like a crazy person.

Low budget has been swapped out for no budget this year as a Xanadu-themed Xmas special brings you the talents of Leslie Fountain (Glenn Keenan), Fat Elvis (Chris Kelly, Ship-o’-Fools) and Olivia Cardboard-John on the Maynard International Studios Mainstage, as well as greetings from around the world and Bexley, plus more impractical outfits and the wonders of Magpie TV.

What you can expect Saturday December 6th from 8.15pm…

Guests include Tim Ferguson (Australian legend), one Wiggle and two Cockroaches and an indeterminate Xmas hand puppet. Leslie Fountain brings his finest Xanadu moves to our stage, Brigitte Handley has issues with technology, Tony Push is poorly lit on a dodgy street in Western Sydney, and George Hrab is all over Xmas like a rash as usual.

It’s the Xmas special that you probably don’t want or need, but you have anyway. Just in case everything else falls through. Where else are you going to get someone in a tree getting excited about Supernaut?

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 promises you an hour of Xmas entertainment for which you will only have yourself to blame. Musically the show has everything from Swing to The New Seekers in their flares and maxi dresses. Plus, as expected, both the West Germans and that magpie remain permanently unimpressed.

A bit more of what you can expect Saturday December 6th from 8.15pm…
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
Maynard and Leslie Fountain during Xanadu song onstage.
Leslie Fountain is drained while Maynard helps Olivia Cardboard-John ascend.
None of us know what is happening next. On A very Maynard Xmas show 2025.
None of us know what is happening next. Especially Tim Ferguson’s dog Kylie Minogue.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2024

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2023

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2022

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2021

Watch A Very 2020 Maynard Xmas.

Poster for A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Believe the hype

Celebrating Xanadu on morning television

Thanks to David Campbell, Sylvia Jeffries and all the crew at Today Extra this morning for getting so excited about our upcoming 45th anniversary screening of Xanadu at the Sydney Underground Film Festival on 13th September.

Details about the screening and afterparty here

Maynard watches Xanadu with Gene Kelly 45 years later.
I’m still impressed with Gene Kelly’s outfits in Xanadu 45 years later.
Maynard demonstrates one way to pose with Olivia Cardboard-John.
I guess this is just one way to pose with Olivia Cardboard-John.

Maynard interview and tribute to Olivia from 2022

Download your free 2025/26 16 month Xanadu calendar

To celebrate finally getting to see the greatest disco roller skating movie ever made involving Olivia Newton-John on the BIG screen, download your free 15 month Xanadu calendar.

Suitable for your art studio or your new roller disco nightclub, it runs from September 2025 to the end of 2026.

You can boldly print it as large as A3 (or a more discrete A6). You’ll love the colour and movement only a static calendar featuring supernatural beings can provide. Richard Saunders has really outdone himself in designing a colourful tribute to an unforgettable part of cinematic history. He even went out and bought a colourful velour jumper to match the finale of the film, he’s that into it.

Enjoy! I hope to see many of you at the Xanadu screening and after party on the 13th September as part of Sydney Underground Film Festival.

Simply download it from the link below and print it any size you like.

  Download Xanadu Calendar 2025

Xanadu “a place where dreams come true”. Now you have a calendar as well. So, go get ya skates on!

Maynard Xanadu 2025/26 calendar thumbnails
Look at all these months of Xanadu.

Sydney, Get Ya Skates On ! Maynard presents Xanadu at Sydney Underground Film Festival

Maynard presents the second greatest musical from 1980: Xanadu.

Xanadu will be screened for your viewing pleasure in Sydney for one night only on Saturday 13th September, 8.30pm as part of Sydney Underground Film Festival at The Dendy Cinema, Newtown.

Then join us afterwards for the unlikely 1980 Disco afterparty at Bootleggers, upstairs at Kelly’s On King almost next door in King Street, Newtown from around 10.30pm. I’ll be your DJ, so you’ve been warned.

Olivia Newton-John as the Greek muse Terpsichore comes to earth to inspire two guys who are low on their creative juices. One is Gene Kelly in his last big starring movie role, the other one is Michael Beck, hot off The Warriors and coincidentally also in his last big starring movie role.

The Electric Light Orchestra do the soundtrack to a seemingly never-ending festival of flowing drapery and fluoro.

Gene Kelly, 72 years old at the time, risks his life roller skating in the finale that is over the top and under the table at the same time.

Olivia Newton-John was in this film instead of Can’t Stop the Music. Frankly I think she should have been in both, and probably Spice World as well. Every moment she’s on the screen is the best part of the film. Sadly she only gets one outfit for most of it, then gets about 10 different outfits in the final minutes.

Get your tickets from Dendy Newtown

This film is for anyone who has stapled a ribbon to a stick and run around the house imagining they are in the rhythmic gymnastics at the Olympics. My favourite number is All Over the World, for its blatant over-acting from almost every extra and the special effects that you may have seen in Tron and The Black Hole.

Scholars of Ancient Greek mythology will be bewildered and confused, but potentially entertained.

Xanadu is a much-maligned movie. Unfairly so, considering it was originally conceived to be even more of a roller disco movie than it turned out. It is often given the back handed compliment of being a “guilty pleasure”. Let us absolve you of your roller skate induced guilt! Unless you are Catholic, feel no shame whatsoever and enjoy every ELO-filled moment of movement from a cast best described as disco diverse.

If you came to last year’s Village People screening, you know we encourage singing and dancing, so glide along to Xanadu in what will be the most shameless cinema environment in Sydney. There will be lo-fi but unique prizes for best outfits.

Eye popping scene from Xanadu movie.
Even they can’t believe this movie!

Actual roller skates are not encouraged at the screening. Think of them as a signifier, or a metaphor, on how your life could be if you hung out with the guy from The Warriors (Micheal Beck).

What other film offers so many genres of music, with so much colour and roller-skated movement? It’s FUN in the extreme.

If you still have criticisms of this misunderstood masterpiece, you’re the one with issues, not us. We’ll be dancin’ at the after party …

Tickets are limited, as are the number of discerning people who love this leg warmer of a musical. There is nothing quite like sharing the enjoyment of the unique film with a loud cinema of like minded people. To quote Olivia herself from the film “I thought we were going roller skating.” Well you are, but without the bruising.

Watch Maynard interview with Olivia Newton-John & some of her career highlights.

Maynard with Olivia Xanadu poster
I am so up for Xanadu

Download your free 2025/2026 Xanadu calendar

Scenes from the movie. Xanadu has everything!
Xanadu has everything!

Filmink – Xanadu at 45: Be a Xanadu, Not a Xanadon’t. Why I think Xanadu should not be poo-pooed.

Video – Brain Freeze – The Coldest 100 – 2025

Prepare yourself for the video of the warmest parts of The Coldest 100, 2025.

Maynard hosts a video of Australia’s own Coldest 100 – 2025. Mostly picked by Andrew Sholl, it will features world class musical “issues” only Australia can produce.

The Coldest 100 is songs about Australia, or by Australians that sometimes didn’t turn out as planned…

Expect to see Good News, Kamahl, Kylie, ONJ, The Cockroaches, Collette, Simon Gallaher, Nick Cave and a lot of marsupials doing their bit to get on the show. Guest appearances from fellow Aussie travellers Paul Field, Bronwyn Mulcahy, Lesley Fountain (Glenn Keenan), Tony Push and the man in a tree (newly promoted with a desk).

Enjoy! Cobber…..

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