Bunga Bunga 47 proves you do get something for nothing. Tim Ferguson & Maynard have plenty of nothing and are happy to share it with you. Tim and Maynard save the Australian film industry, kidnap a member of the Royal family and Tim even has time to present TWO poems, one from his troublesome teenage years, and the other about the troubled motorcycle riding unemployed screenwriter of Glebe.
Maynard is excited about his upcoming gig in Perth on August 11th, Tim is excited about a potential gallery exhibition in Manly, also in August.
Tim & Maynard carefully and with forethought answer your Crankmail, fix the judicial system, change history, make a telephone call to the NSW Greens, take the piss out of our US listeners, them go out dancing.
If you want more than that from a podcast, frankly you are expecting too much and must have helicopter parents.
CinefestOZ launched in Sydney at the Hyatt Regency, so or course Tim Ferguson and Maynard turned up for the finger food and the berets.
CinefestOZ has a $100,000 prize for their favourite Australian film as well as a unique opportunity for the Australian industry to get together in WA.
Tim and Maynard meet local actors directors and producers with some tips for getting through the off season.
Hear Travis Jeffery (Spin Out), John Howard (everything) Carolyn Constantine (Madhattan), Thomas Cocquerel (In Like Flynn) and James Sweeney (Celebrations bottleshop, Newtown) explain how they make it through their part of the maze that is the Australian film industry.
The Record Store in Goulburn Street, Darlinghurst is where you find Stephan Gyory (after 11am, “we keep civilised hours here”) surrounded by vinyl records of almost every genre (“but we don’t want your old Trance or Prog vinyl”)
He’s been in the vinyl record trade since he started at BPM Records in Oxford St (above the old Army disposal store) in 1994. At one stage, in the late 90s, there were fourteen dance music record stores in Darlinghurst. Sometimes at night in Darlinghurst it’s now difficult to find fourteen people.
But Stephan is optimistic about the future of the Oxford St precinct. “I run the local Chamber of Commerce. I’m currently on the City of Sydney late-night advisory panel, which is looking at how to diversify nightlife.”
But is the Oxford St too far gone?
“We lost the Flinders and it came back. We lost Q Bar, but that place was going to fall through its own floor anyway, we lost The Shift, and it’s just been bought by a group that are going to reopen as a club. This area and the community here is very resilient. The thing about Oxford Street is if you walk up it, Yeah, it’s a bit tatty, but if you walk across it, you don’t notice, because there’s lots of really cool things around it.”
So how about some advice to anybody thinking of opening a record store in 2018?
“Don’t go back in time and open a record store in 2003 because the following ten years will be terrible.”
So why do you still do it, with your not-so-silent-enough partner?
“Fucked if I know! Vinyl turned the corner probably five years ago and that was a function of music becoming a utility. When music went to streaming it just became like water and electricity. I think people seek to have relationships with music beyond pure consumption and the utility model is just a consumption model. But why am I in retail. I don’t know.I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. But I am my own boss and I don’t have a mortgage, no kids, and it’s a very fun lifestyle.”
Stephan caters to most styles of music at The Record Store, but there is one type of person he won’t tolerate in his shop.
“We don’t serve audiophiles. I mean, they don’t come here because we’re a very pedestrian shop to the point where if someone comes to us with a collection of rare collectible vinyl, we’ll send them to another store. When I buy second-hand, I want to be able to sell it for not very much money. I want you to be able to come in and buy more than one album. I don’t want people coming in with magnifying glasses looking at the grooves because they’re a fucking pain in the ass. They might be very lovely people but I don’t have the time or patience. I think I’ve only ever had to kick three people out of this store in 20 years, and all three were like that.”
So you and your magnifying glass can tell your story walking.
But a final word on musical taste from Stephan.
“I used to be quite intolerant of music I wasn’t into. This music is better than that music and then recently some Liberace got through and into our rock and pop section. Ordinarily I would give that stuff to Vinnie’s. This young Chinese girl came in, a full vinyl junkie, she bought Barry Manilow, Liberace and Richard Clayderman, and I thought”, “you know what these records bring you joy, and you’re into this format as much as I am.” “Cool.”
Enjoy some sucking as Tim Ferguson and Maynard thank you personally for being a Patreon of Planet Maynard & Bunga Bunga. July’s Patreon Pandering comes from the Tim Ferguson fortress of arrogance and redoubt of famed alt right feline Kitler.
This month, as well as your own name praised, Tim and Maynard offer their private opinions about you all, as well as bringing the profession of psychology into doubt.
You can do the same and get a monthly show that panders to YOU personally, that only the pandered Patreons can receive. Join us!
Tim Ferguson and Maynard in Bunga Bunga 46, a shenanigan that will live in infamy, answer the questions other podcasts even fear to speak aloud. We even crack open our Crankmail.
When is unfunny funny?
Should you be polite to Hitler?
Why can’t Tim Ferguson ever be friends with Paul McCartney? “If that’s the level of clarity Paul McCartney has about his own lyrics, no wonder John Lennon hated his guts.”
What music does Maynard really play in his VW?
Plus speculation on $2 wine and Buddha’s bladder. Sure, it’s not a great wine, but it is WINE.
This is a podcast described by a 9 year old who didn’t get an ice cream as “this is bullshit”.
We find out that Tim has given Maynard a valuable gift for his Bug Out Bag (maybe).
Maynard becomes the Grammar Guy. “I don’t even know what a split infinitive is, but I know what I like.”
Tim saves Canada and but more importantly,finally uncovers the Greens fiendish endgame.
Time for a serious Oxford Street lunch with Lance Leopard, but not till after an even more serious viewing of Valley of the Dolls, a movie Lance agrees is a “great starting point for any camp movie collection’.
Join Maynard as he visits Lance Leopard, high in his ivory tower of scuttlebutt, where all secrets are hidden and revealed, overlooking the inhospitable wilds of Darlinghurst.
Topics covered in this show include, Delilah, The Gibson Brothers, Madonna’s movie career, Jane Fonda, Liberace, Marilyn Monroe on the piano, Bill Collins, Village People, Claire de Lune, Joe Hasham and ABBA.
Lance declares two “stupid films” that should never have been made. While Maynard gets the best scene from Tank Girl wrong.
And the next time someone you know isn’t getting what you are saying, just do what Lance does, and ask them; “can you hear the drums Fernando?”.
Lance did have a few other things he wished to be quoted on;
“I’m glad you’re working hard on this show Maynard, I’m as lazy as Dean Martin.”
“I thought the Madonna film Body of Evidence was a great film in a genre I’ve made up called faux Hitchcock.”
“Madonna can act, when she’s directed well and she’s not the leading character.”
“My favourite Bond film is Moonraker, it’s James Bond in space AND Shirley Bassey belts out the theme song.”
“I ironed Neil Tenant’s pants once backstage because the Pet Shop Boys wardrobe assistant had gone missing at The Phoenix Bar on ecstasy or something. I blame the gays.”
“I have long arms, so it never looks like I’m taking a selfie. It looks like I’m just waving.”
“I’ve been called a gay icon, and I’ve been called worse.”
“Now a new audience has rediscovered me, I’m trapped with my quiff, my perfect eyebrows and my matte complexion.”
” Now that I’m older, I’ve realised timing and lighting is EVERYTHING.”
Enjoy your lunch with Lance, see you at the buffet….
A regular monthly micro show, Patreon Pandering, is very secret squirrel with the intention to thank all the Patreon supporters that keep Planet Maynard spinning.
This month Lance Leopard and Tim Ferguson open a bottle of thank you cream, and spread over where it is needed most, the supporters, who, month after month give Planet Maynard the goose it needs to keep going.
Gay icon Lance Leopard pays tribute to Doris Goddard, and confides for the first time how The Hollywood Hotel songbird stole his cult classic short film Boots “and rightly so”, and his heart. “We love you Doris.”
Let’s go to discover why the legendary lady of Sydney’s Hollywood Hotel still fascinates.
I’m Lance Leopard, the tall star of short films.
My First Film
Boots, was shot on location at said Hollywood Hotel. I recall having to summon the feelings, the Walk, the addled emotions I’d need to convincingly play a drunkard. Tough stuff. I decided to just play my unfortunate little brother. AND JUST AT THAT MOMENT…. The set suddenly seemed to go pink. GLOWED. Ms Doris Goddard had materialized, pretty in pink to visit our set. Wiglet in place, head-to-toe Mansfield Pink. Oversized Sophia Loren Sunglasses. Doris is a great Actress. I looked round in wonder. And said it: “Oh my. This does take me back!” Yep, back to 1957 when leggy showgirl Doris Goddard starred with Bob Hope in The Iron Petticoat. And wiped Katherine Hepburn off the screen.
I felt a chill. Was I, too to be wiped off the screen? I was billed above the title! Doris, who isn’t even a distant relation to Paulette Goddard, joined & enhanced our movie to the Nth Degree. She was filmed singing our title song….HER WAY. Like, whos Nancy Sinatra? Never heard of her. Totally.
Oh, This Takes Me Back
SOOO… I had Boots click into re-release on line. Its my way of sharing the The Goddard Factor with fans that she has yet to know. All you campers. I hope you enjoy Boots. I did. You’ll love me getting the shit beaten out of me by 50 vengeful go-go dancers! I believe youll love Annette Evans miming to Nancy in the closing production number. I do. Stick around for the end credits- and thats an order, dears.
Fall in love with Goddard’s live version, it’s a gem. Dramatically playing guitar with a flamenco flair that makes the night sing. Here’s to you, lady. Because what’s right is right. And you ain’t been wrong yet. Your a true Star. Im only a fan. How does THAT grab you, Darlin’?
