But what would A Very Maynard Xmas look like?
In 1998 we found out when Foxtel’s Channel V assigned Mary Datoc and Maynard to dig up clips and music from around all Foxtel channels in a way that would never happen now.
All the Channel V presenters of the time turned up at Maynard’s for an afternoon and this show was the result.
Unseen since 1998 Planet Maynard presents A Very Maynard Xmas (an El Cheapo production)
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Time for a serious Oxford Street lunch with Lance Leopard, but not till after an even more serious viewing of Valley of the Dolls, a movie Lance agrees is a “great starting point for any camp movie collection’.
Join Maynard as he visits Lance Leopard, high in his ivory tower of scuttlebutt, where all secrets are hidden and revealed, overlooking the inhospitable wilds of Darlinghurst.
Topics covered in this show include, Delilah, The Gibson Brothers, Madonna’s movie career, Jane Fonda, Liberace, Marilyn Monroe on the piano, Bill Collins, Village People, Claire de Lune, Joe Hasham and ABBA.
Lance declares two “stupid films” that should never have been made. While Maynard gets the best scene from Tank Girl wrong.
And the next time someone you know isn’t getting what you are saying, just do what Lance does, and ask them; “can you hear the drums Fernando?”.
Lance did have a few other things he wished to be quoted on;
“I’m glad you’re working hard on this show Maynard, I’m as lazy as Dean Martin.”
“I thought the Madonna film Body of Evidence was a great film in a genre I’ve made up called faux Hitchcock.”
“Madonna can act, when she’s directed well and she’s not the leading character.”
“My favourite Bond film is Moonraker, it’s James Bond in space AND Shirley Bassey belts out the theme song.”
“I ironed Neil Tenant’s pants once backstage because the Pet Shop Boys wardrobe assistant had gone missing at The Phoenix Bar on ecstasy or something. I blame the gays.”
“I have long arms, so it never looks like I’m taking a selfie. It looks like I’m just waving.”
“I’ve been called a gay icon, and I’ve been called worse.”
“Now a new audience has rediscovered me, I’m trapped with my quiff, my perfect eyebrows and my matte complexion.”
” Now that I’m older, I’ve realised timing and lighting is EVERYTHING.”
Enjoy your lunch with Lance, see you at the buffet….
Maynard’s 1989 interview with Jackie O’Sullivan of Bananrama during their Australian tour
Madonna in Lance’s favourite scene from Dick Tracey, love that dialogue.
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Lance Leopard is a gay icon and legendary gossip columnist from the glamorous 1990s of the Oxford Street strip, and beyond. Join us in Lance Leopard’s new spot. An ivory tower high above the fray, overlooking Darlinghurst, where secrets are both hidden and revealed.
During his tenure as chief gossip and stirrer of The Scene in his weekly columns in The Star Observer, Capital Q, Out Biz and more, he dished the dirt and smeared the eyeliner without fear or favour.
Lance even has celebrity advice for Dannii Minogue (a child superstar), Cybill Shepherd (selfish bitch) and his Mum (Ikeep my manners around her and try and teach her a few).
Join us for drinks won’t you?
I present short history of quotes from Lance Leopard;
“I can admit it now because I’m retired”
“People “remember” me doing all sorts of things. It might not have been me they actually remember. It could have been Sexy Galexy for all I know.”
“The more you do something, the better you get at it. Or else you’re always dreadful and no one will tell you.”
“Brisbane is like Baltimore, it’s one of those nutty little towns that just has its own thing.”
“I don’t know if I should say this.”
“If people are complaining there isn’t a scene. They can go out there and make one.”
“I liked it when my columns were in magazines people had to actually buy. I made more of an effort then.”
“Everybody has an opinion now days. But if it’s not an informed opinion, it’s a lousy opinion, and who needs to hear it?”
When asked at what point in history Lance would have liked to have lived;
“I would have picked the good years of Versailles. Before everybody got angry and started demanding cake.”
On the world of gossip a learned Lance quotes Ru Paul;
“What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.”
Archive of Lance Leopard columns from Cotton Ward
Short films starring Lance Leopard
Interview with Lance Leopard opening night of “Australia in the 80s” Powerhouse Museum.
Maynard touches Morrissey’s shirt sleeve at Sydney Opera House
See why Lance & Maynard so impressed with Bob Downe’s makeup.
The Megamen (with Lance Leopard on syn drums) Brisbane Telethon 1983 “Designed For Living”.
One of Lance Lepoard’s dance floor favourites Stacey Q – We Connect
Maynard interview with Stacey Q 2016
Maynard & The Madd Club play a damn fine Maynard 90s set at Jack The House 3 @ The Sly Fox, Enmore, 2017.
This DJ set features a lot of running around during Maynard’s choice of 90s favourites.
See the video of my frankly shameless behaviour during my set
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Two interviews with Melbourne’s Bachelors from Prague, 1989 & 1990. Henry Maas & Andrew Philipp are both up early (twice) to talk about The Energetic Cool and Great albums.
Despite my not really being able to describe their sound or genre accurately, Henry and Andrew are very patient with me. Even going so far as to give me a job offer.
All the important issues are covered, the size of their dressing room, why they don’t wear bright colours and is their manager Mario Macaroni a fictional character?
We even namecheck a few long gone venues like The Harbourside Brasserie and IDs.
Thankyou to Bachelors from Prague for all the very cool good times.
And they are back,so go see them! (and their dressing room)
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The Killjoys from Melbourne were always one on my favourite bands from that city. Although musically the opposite of bands like The Bachelors From Prague and certainly TISM, they carried a similar fun loving spirit about their music and live they were always, well, a delight.
On 5th July 1991 I recorded this for the Triple J breakfast show and it has gone unheard since then.
The Killjoys formed in 1987 and at this time in 1991 their album Ruby won an ARIA award for Best Independent Release. If you are a keen scuba diver, you may be able to find that award at the bottom of Darling Harbour near the wharf, as it was dropped accidentally overboard, shortly after it was awarded to the band, while they were on their way to a post awards party. The Killjoys even hired a diver to look for the ARIA award next day.
It has yet to be found.
Get together with Caroline Schwerkolt, Craig Pilkington (who went onto The Blackjacks), Anna Burley and Will Larsen (up the back playing a hell tambourine) to hear One & Only and the sweet Calling Me On.
Start saving up for a vibraphone, because after hearing The Killjoys, you’ll want your own.
AND the best news is that they are back together and you can experience them again.
The Killjoys recording session engineers at Triple J for this were Geoff Overmyer & Chris Norris.
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Voice of the Beehive played toured Australia in 1992 and rocked my world during their Sydney shows in 1992.
Voice of the Beehive sisters Tracey Bryn & Melissa Brooke Belland, as well as Daniel “Woody” Woodgate (Madness) blew into the Triple J studios one Friday afternoon. Wearing fairy outfits and waving magic wands with Woody sporting a huge grin, I knew this interview was going to be fun. It was. The songs I Walk The Earth, Perfect Place, Don’t Call Me Baby, Adonis Blue and their power pop cover of I Think I Love You are some of my favourite pop songs of the late 80s/early 90s.
Voice of the Beehive played Enmore Theatre and the northern beaches while in Sydney in 1992 and I never have found out the secret about the possible surfer guy or why Woody always has a clean white t-shirt on tour.
Voice of the Beehive on Wikipedia.
Voice of the Beehive on Myspace.
Have some fun with Melissa & Tracey as the show off their fashion and dance moves 1988 style.
Voice of the Beehive join a top lineup to play Indie Daze in London, October 4.
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The unedited interview sounds from Maynard and Cliff Richard squashed together in a small hotel room with producer Chris Norris during Cliff Richard’s 1991 Australian tour. Cliff answers questions from listeners honestly about his music, make-up, miming and celibacy.
What is his favourite song? Hint: It’s not the same as Maynard’s.
Maynard was the host of Planet Fx, a Sci-Fi comedy/geek/music/variety show every weekday afternoon for 2 years when Foxtel first started in Australia in 1995 & 1996, before he went of to host music television (remember when that was a thing) on Red Tv and Channel V.
Here are two clips from the Planet Fx show one with Bob Downe (Mark Trevorrow) singing Xanadu (to a backing track, he is not lip syncing) and one featuring a phone call to a Triple J regular Mrs Fred Sinatra of Las Vegas (who is actually lip synced, as you’ll see from the video).
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From September 1992 it’s Sunday Afternoon Fever celebrating all things Brady in a bumper 3 hour episode with music, interviews and a special Brady Maynard’s Mastermind. We also let the people of Australia decide, by voting for their favourite Brady member.
Mrs Fred Sinatra of Las Vegas is along to give advice on love, Lance of The Hollywood Kids has gossip about the opening night of Fire Walk With Me, as well a the exciting new Drew Barrymore TV project with Aaron Spelling 2000 Malibu Road.
We speak with Christopher Knight, Peter Brady himself about being the fictional middle child and how he feels about the opening night of The Real Live Brady Bunch.
The Soloway sisters join us with Warren Coleman to talk about the afternoon they came up with the idea for The real Live Brady Bunch show in their lounge room (their mum thought it would get them in trouble). Jill Soloway has since gone on to write Six Feet Under among many other projects and Warren has won an Oscar.
Andrew G takes questions from the listeners on all things Brady while in between we hear some music from Caligula, Screamin” Jay Hawkins, Def Fx, The Shamen, Utah Saints, Cracker, Stray Cats and more. Quite the afternoon of listening ahead of you.
We miss you Florence Henderson.
