A Very Maynard Xmas 2024 will be unlike any other lo-fi Xmas special ever seen by anyone ever.
Broadcasting from the main arena at Maynard International Studios, just opposite the Gilmore Girls Memorial Auditorium, it will bring the magic of Santa’s grotto back into our lives. Hopefully in the good way.
Feature guests in A Very Maynard Xmas 2024 include Lesley Fountain/Glenn Keenan, Roy Darby, Chris Kelly of Ship o Fools. With Christmas greetings from Mari Wilson, Rob Darby, Christopher Laird of Radio Nowhere, George Hrab with The Christmas Sweaters, Brigitte Handley, Tony Push and his poinsettia, even Paul Field and Bronwyn Mulcahy of Countdown Live wave hello in this most awkward of Xmas variety shows.
To celebrate finally getting to see the greatest disco roller skating movie ever made involving Steve Guttenburg on the BIG screen, download this 15 month Can”t Stop The Music calendar.
Suitable for your street or your sauna, it runs from October 2024 to the end of 2025. Which as well as watching the film with us, Ch 9 will play it again at least twice in that timeframe.
You can boldly print as large as A3 (or a more discrete A6) you’ll love the colour and movement only a static calendar can provide. Richard Saunders has really outdone himself in designing a colourful tribute to an unforgettable part of cinematic history. He even looks like Richard the tax lawyer in the movie, he’s that into it.
Enjoy and see many on you at the screening and after party on the 14th September.
Simply download it from the link below and print it any size you like.
As Steve Guttenburg says “Village People, that’s fantastic!”
All of our lives are just that little bit less glamorous today.
Life isn’t fair, but it probably isn’t a redhead either. To the boring injustice of life, Lance Leopard Esq would have said something like “Fuck you and fuck the public transport you rode here on”.
There are not many people who are so fabulous that even their mother had a drag name: the lovely Magnolia Leopard.
Some travel in style, some travel discreetly. Lance travelled both ways through the back alleys and laneways of Darlinghurst.
As Oscar Wilde (or was it Taylor Swift?) once said “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars”. As Lance would say “No stupid, that’s the STAIRS. To the Taxi Club.”
Or Midnight Shift. Or DCM. Or whichever club his presence graced.
Lance was a delicate creature, as he often reported in his weekly Star Observer column. When he was seen with a nose bleed after coming out of the bathrooms at The Oxford Hotel it was obviously due to the sudden altitude change from going up the stairs to Gilligan’s. It’s just science people.
Lance Leopard & Maynard with ray gun at the ready for their Barbarella movie screening. 2019.
There are so many memories of Lance. Let me take you back to a time and place almost lost to history or even imagination: the early 1990s Mardi Gras parties. Imagine an almost empty VIP lounge at the end of the evening, sunlight unwelcomely poking itself through the blacked out windows.
Suddenly Lance spotted a small used zip lock bag among the evening’s party detritus on the floor. He dove on it as if it were a live grenade from which he had to save his buddies. And immediately poked half the contents into his mouth as I was saying “You really shouldn’t just …” then Gulp! he shoved the rest into my mouth. We ran downstairs to dance frantically to the last song of the party from DJ Mark Alsop. It was The Communards ‘Never can Say Goodbye’ (the Shep Pettibone Mix, you know, the good one).
What followed was one of the best out of body, soul enriching, mind expanding dancing for at least the next half hour. Which was odd, as the track is only 7 minutes long.
If there’s a moral to that story, let ME know sometime.
Lance had more recently adopted a healthy lifestyle, but he always had a very healthy love of fashion. He was a sharp dresser with an even sharper tongue. Some even today are still feeling the sting from one of his very blunt show reviews. Deserved or not.
Lance touched many people through his life and work, but mainly the hot ones. As he said “I don’t believe in the afterlife, but I’ve always believed with all my soul in the afterparty.”
Your name is on the door Lance, and save some of what you find on the floor for the rest of us …
Lance Leopard finds himself in an emotional backwater taking a ride in Maynard’s cardboard rocket at Loveshack nightclub. 2019
Australia’s Coldest 100 returns for 2024 this Saturday 27th January with @ozkitsch presenting 100 tunes you won’t find easily anywhere on any continent.
Just look at this list of artists that Andrew Sholl has curated that you’ll never again see on the same list. This is Andrew’s eighth Coldest 100 and he doesn’t see Farnham clips running out anytime soon.
The 2024 Coldest 100 brings you Barnsey, Alexander Downer, Tiny Tim, Cilla Black and a rubber chicken.
If that isn’t enough to incite your antipodean awkwardness, well, bugger ya.
After all, anyone can put together a list of the latest good songs. It takes a certain kind of expert like Andrew Sholl to put together 100 songs of Australian musical hoo-haa for 8 years in a row now.
This is a version of You Are The Voice you may enjoy, or not…
Andrew Sholl
It will all be going down from 10am Saturday 27th January on X and Instagram @Ozkitsch Andrew Sholl shows no sign of ever stopping his annual festival of Aussie awkwardness. So lean into it.
The greatest and longest tradition in Australian history is the screening of Village People’s Can’t Stop The Music every NYE across Australia. So elevate your experience this NYE by watching this anytime before you watch the movie, anywhere, anytime, to get you in the mood for the musical extravaganza of 1980.
It’s not New Year’s Eve in Australia till we see Steve Gutenberg over excitedly skating down Broadway!
Thanks Felipe Rose for kicking off the show on New Year’s Eve.
Here’s the audio version of the Xmas show this year. To enjoy the full immersive cheapo experience, watch the show on the previous page. But enjoy both, it’s Shatmas.
A Very Maynard Xmas is the highlight of the year for people who don’t get out a lot. It’s just like an old style Xmas variety show, but without the style, or the show.
Our guests dropping by this year include Tim Ferguson getting a surprise gift, Lesley Fountain dancing with a choir, Brigitte Handley hanging out with some creepy German dolls, Christopher Laird eating some sort of donut, Tony Push reading his Bowie inspired Xmas poem, George Hrab becoming a super hero, Rob and Roy Darby supplying some quality original music and other people who should have something better to do at this time of year.
A Very Maynard Xmas 2023 promises you almost an hour of Xmas entertainment that you will only have yourself to blame for. Musically the show has everything from David Essex to The Gibson Brothers and Lulu. Plus a monkey washing a cat.
Tim Ferguson doesn’t seem too keen on the present Maynard got him for Xmas
A Very Maynard Xmas 2023 gift. A Golden Girls metal lunchbox
Lulu is the performer who will save the day on this year’s A Very Maynard Xmas
Tim Ferguson and I let you know what you can expect. You will have trouble describing it yourself.
A Very Maynard Xmas is the highlight of the year for people who don’t get out a lot. It’s just like an old style Xmas variety show, but without the style, or the show.
Our guests dropping by this year include Tim Ferguson getting a surprise gift, Lesley Fountain dancing with a choir, Brigitte Handley hanging out with some creepy German dolls, Christopher Laird eating some sort of donut, Tony Push reading his Bowie inspired Xmas poem, George Hrab becoming a super hero, Rob and Roy Darby supplying some quality original music and other people who should have something better to do at this time of year.
Watch the festive foolishness of A Very Maynard Xmas 2023
A Very Maynard Xmas 2023 promises you almost an hour of Xmas entertainment that you will only have yourself to blame for. Musically the show has everything from David Essex to The Gibson Brothers and Lulu. Plus a monkey washing a cat.
Tim Ferguson doesn’t seem too keen on the present Maynard got him for Xmas
A Very Maynard Xmas 2023 gift. A Golden Girls metal lunchbox
Lulu is the performer who will save the day on this year’s A Very Maynard Xmas
Tim Ferguson and I let you know what you can expect. You will have trouble describing it yourself.
30 years ago this week, on a Sunday far, far away Sunday Afternoon Fever blasted across the 1993 landscape of Australia on Triple J…
Kirk Pengilly, world famous saxophonist from INXS was my special guest taking questions from live callers Molly, Lance, Rick, Damien, Jenny, Claire (Darwin), Fran (Syd), Melissa (Melb), David, Liz (Melb), Craig, Claire (Manly Vale), Erika, Elaine (Melb), David (Syd), Elvis Presley (Newcastle), Big Dave (Kempsey), Sam, Melissa, Luke, Vanessa and Paul (Brisbane). INXS latest album at the time was Full Moon, Dirty Hearts.
Their questions for Kirk Pengilly range from “What new bands do you like?” (Juice & You Am I) to “Do you remember what happened at the Kempsey RSL that night you supported Richard Clapton in 1980?”. (Let’s just say no bands were allowed there for a few years after the “incident”). Kirk turns up on the show 1 hour 55 minutes in.
INXS with their first single Simple Simon on Simon Townsend’s Wonderworld in 1980.
Other world altering events that afternoon include Steve in Adelaide forgetting to tape The Late Show last night. Lance & The Hollywood Kids gossiping about George Micheal, Rosanne, Corey Ham, Sharon Stone plus the shocking revelation that Brooke Shields was seen buying a book.
Crappy New Releases from Dr Ektomy and Mario Lanza. While Maynard’s mastermind finds Andrew wiping the floor with all the other contestants to win not only the new Duran Duran album, BUT also a picture of Nick Kershaw.
Always in step with international politics, I put in a call to order some new furniture for Boris Yeltsin. You know, just to be helpful.
I report on the Soloway sisters latest production from the opening night in LA Not Without My Nipples. Starring Janeane Garofalo, who was nice enough to give me a lift back to my hotel. Thanks for that.
But what snappy tunes are on the show Maynard? I hear you ask.
Pet Shop Boys – Normally I Wouldn’t Do This Kind of Thing Weddings, Parties, Anything – Mondays Experts Electric Hippies – It’s Cool General Public – Tenderness Ren & Stimpy – Happy Happy Joy Joy Special AKA – Free Nelson Mandela Mr Floppy – Wuthering Heights New Order – World Hoodoo Gurus – The Right Time Weird Al Yankovic – Jurassic Park Cocteau Twins – Iceblink Luck Kate Bush – Eat The Music Salt N Pepa – Shoop Tom Jones – It’s Not Unusual Pet Shop Boys – Go West Freaky Realistic – Leonard Nimoy Ice Cream Hands – You Can Smile Now Prince – Peach Denis Leary – Asshole Strange Tenants – Soldier Boy Weird Al Yankovic – Bedrock Anthem Radiohead – Creep Barbara Feldon – 99 Violent Femmes – Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? Terence Trent D’Arby – Delicate Juice Masters – Brady Bunch Miki Howard – Ain’t Nobody Like You INXS featuring Jenny Morris – Jackson Donny Hathaway What’s Going On INXS – Need You Tonight (Ben Liebrand remix) Guy Delandro – Old Country Lanes INXS – Simple Simon Trey Lorenz – Wipe All My Tears Away Fits Of Gloom – To Love Yothu Yindi – World Turning Stan – Suntan Weird Al Yankovic- Achy Breaky Song Apache Indian – Boom Shak A Lak Weird Al Yankovic – Bohemian Polka
30 years to the month after the original broadcast, here’s Sunday Afternoon Fever, Maynard’s Triple J show from a public toilet in Ultimo for no apparent reason with The Andy 500, Rob Clarkson, and Melissa Tkautz. Even Simon Day sticks his head in.
There’s live music in front of a live studio audience. We even get into some True Crime (at 35 minutes) with a heartfelt plea from Simon of Redfern for his stolen trombone. A very emotional moment for all.
“Really big toilet you’ve got here Maynard.”
Simon Day, 11th July 1993
The Andy 500 at The Metro in Sydney.
The Andy 500 dressed up smart and wowed the live audience with their smooth sounds (at around 1 hour 7 minutes). They played four songs including Too Close For Comfort, I Love Your Brain and Touch Me.
Lance of The Hollywood Kids (40 minutes in) goes to the opening of new LA club Babylon and spots Cher, Shannon Doherty, Tori Spelling and James Woods. And you’ll never guess who his dinner date was…..
“Things are getting, really, really WEIRD here Maynard.”
Lance of The Hollywood Kids 11.7.1993 (about 2.49pm)
Melissa Tkautz was about to have a guest stint on Paradise Beach as the resident bitch character. She joins us for a chat (about 1 hour 57 minutes in) and you can imagine how the live audience was wary of a soap star coming on a Triple J show. But a really interesting phenomenon happened as I noted many times in my career. As soon as Melissa entered the studio and talked off air to the audience and was as highly professional as she always is, the crowd fell silent. No smarty bum comments, no looking down their noses at a pop star. It’s as if they realised she was actually talented as well as an actual person. She and Simon Day had a great old chin wag in the green room. She introduces her new single, Is It?
There’s Crappy New Releases (1 hour 50 minutes in), Maynard’s Mastermind Quiz (in which you can win a bow and arrow set to injure the child of your choice) and group Love Boat karaoke. It was a mint afternoon all round.
Join us in this show, the day when Pray by Take That was number one in the UK. In Australia, it was UB40 with Can’t Help Falling in Love. Neither of which are played on this show. But the Triple J feature album is from Paul Westerburg.
You WILL hear music from Matthew Sweet, Def FX, XTC, Straitjacket Fits, Phunk Junkeez and even Jimeoin.
Rob Clarkson with one of his songs he performed live on the show, The Human Equivalent of Penicillin.
Also the regular (very) odd couple segment of Richard Kingsmill dropping in live ( at around 1 hour 35 minutes) to give a hot take on a very early Burt Bacharach tune from his personal collection.
This tape doesn’t even cover all the show. Digital audio tapes were expensive in 1993, but I recorded this myself because Triple J wasn’t (and probably still isn’t) in the business of archiving most of their content.
So, get down in your underpants and pray to the Church of the Funky Chicken. It’s time for Sunday Afternoon Fever, July 11th, 1993.
Thanks to all our studio guests and especially the live studio audience for singing along with the Loveboat Theme.
Special thanks to the very professional Triple J Producer Anne-Maree Sargeant, Justine Lynch, Scott Whyte, all the studio 227 engineering crew and all at Triple J in 1993.
30 years to the day after the original broadcast, here’s Sunday Afternoon Fever, Maynard’s Triple J show for no apparent reason with Kate Ceberano, Anthony Morgan, Lance & The Hollywood Kids, Crappy New Releases, Warren Coleman, Richard Kingsmill’s Hot Tip and Getting Your Goat.
Kate Ceberano calls us from her Melbourne sauna to let us know about her upcoming mini tour. She also has a problem with the audience applause audio on her Kate Ceberano & Her Septet album.
“Now I’m giving up smoking, it feels like I’m singing through mucus.”
Kate Ceberano, 4th July 1993 (2.43pm)
Lance and John, The Hollywood Kids – Regular gossip reporters on Sunday Afternoon Fever
Lance and the Hollywood Kids segment reports on the hot new sex club in LA and who Whitney is suing this week. Lots of people calling in from around Australia. Bronwyn in Tasmania is using a new fangled mobile phone on a chairlift while Kevin Markwell in Paddington, Sydney has a farting Ren doll he thinks we need to hear. Jose calls in with news that Kate Ceberano’s 1989 Brave album has just been released in Argentina and is selling well.
Melbourne comedy legend Anthony Morgan is back on the stand up circuit after a bit of time away. He’s talking personal poverty and marching bands.
“I’ve had a lot of practice at being poor when I was younger and we thought it was a political statement.”
Anthony Morgan 4th July 1993 (3.41pm)
Join us in this show, the day before Absolutely Fabulous went to air for the first time in Australia. A show that asks the eternal question, “why can’t Dire Straits make music as good as the Magilla Gorilla theme?
Anthony Morgan, Melbourne Comedy Festival 1995
Also the regular (very) odd couple segment of Richard Kingsmill dropping by to give a hot take on the upcoming release from Urge Overkill.
This tape only covers about half the show. Digital audio tapes were expensive in 1993, but I recorded this myself because Triple J wasn’t (and probably still isn’t) in the business of archiving most of their content.
So, get down in your underpants and pray to the Church of the Funky Chicken. It’s time for Sunday Afternoon Fever, July 4th, 1993.
Thanks to all our guests and callers.
Special thanks to the very professional Triple J Producer Anne-Maree Sargeant, Justine Lynch and all at Triple J in 1993.
