Category Archives: Maynard

Elvira’s Haunted Hills

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark shot her spooky movie in Eastern Europe in 2001 with her then partner Mark Pierson (they divorced in 2003) and was more than happy to tell me ALL about it. (the movie, not the divorce)

Elvira and Richard O'Brien in a scene from Elviras Haunted Hills 2001.
Elvira and Richard O’Brien acting up in the woods.

Maynard: Cassandra Peterson. Why has it taken so long for a second movie? Is there an easy answer for that?

Elvira: I’ve been out there selling movies ever since my first one came out. First, the studio went bankrupt, then I wrote another one, sold it again. Then the studio executive changed and he put the kibosh on that project.
Elvira: Finally, my only answer was to make it myself or I just never get another movie out.

Maynard: You and Mark are partners.

E: That is correct

M: Must put a lot of strain on any relationship and to have to shoot the movie in Romania. How do you two get on so well?

E: Who said we got on so well? Who are you talking to? It is tough. It is tough to work together and to be married. It’s really difficult and we’ve been doing it for 23 years. I think that’s a world’s record here in Hollywood. Look, I think we should get an Academy Award just for that.

M: You shot the movie in Romania. You used a lot of your own money, I believe. I’ve heard the figure mentioned of 1 million American dollars. Is that about roundabout the budget or is it more than that?

E: Actually under that, to shoot it, by the time we finished it with all the post-production, the music and everything else, it was about a million and a half dollars for the whole thing, which seems like a lot of money to a regular person just slogging away at a job, but for a movie, that’s a spit in the bucket, it is. Absolutely nothing. Compare that to any movie made by a big studio right now, and it’s, that’s what the costs are for the catering.

M: Elva Haunted Hills was made in Romania, and you got Richard O’Brien for it.Richard O’Brien is best known for the Rocky Horror Show and for his work on stage and his musical work. How did you get him?

E: It was just a fluke. I tell you. It was so strange. We actually had signed Richard Chamberlain, which is so strange. Of Thornbirds fame. I’m sure you’ve heard of Dr. Kildare? Richard is a very good friend and I thought he would be fantastic playing the part because I always saw a big similarity, believe it or not, this is a compliment for me to say this. Between him and Vincent Price. They’re both stage actors. They both have this look about them, that they’re Americans, but they seem like they come from England. So we were going ahead with Richard until he actually got a job that paid money. I don’t know why, but he took that one.

M: He ditched you?

E: He did, but in a nice way. We didn’t feel too bad. He actually had a job, like I said, that was going to pay rather better than we were. My brother-in-law, who’s from Romania mentioned that he knew Richard O’Brien. I was like, oh my God, that is so perfect. And we called Richard and he said, I’d love to do it. And that was that.

M: I couldn’t believe that you actually had all these fantastic sets built. You had all these amazing things built that just did not seem within your budget at all.

E: That’s Romania for you, and that’s why we had to go there to do this. We could have never built these sets. We really wanted the very same look that all the old Roger Corman and Hammer films had. We even took pictures to these set designers in Romania of what those particular sets look like, and My God, they did such an incredible job. We were just blown away. We had no idea that they were going to do that amazing of a job for the money we were paying them.

M: Films like The Pit and the Pendulum.

Elvira: Another one was Haunted Palace and the House of Usher. The movie was set in the 1800s.

M: But you didn’t have to dress any of the locals any differently, did you?

E: No, we didn’t even have to dress any of the locals. They came as they were. People are always saying, oh my God, where’d you get these?
Fabulous costumes and the peasants carrying the sickle and the scythe would be herding the geese. As I said, we just walked out the door and there they were. One of the, my favourite moments in the movie is the musical number from the show.

M: Because you’re a showgirl, you’re touring your show.

Elvira: Big musical number, which comes outta nowhere there.

M: I thought you, you could have put a few more musical numbers in there.

E: Exactly. That’s what I thought too. I originally wanted the film to be a musical, kind of in the style of Rocky Horror, but that would’ve probably tripled our budget because just to shoot that one number took an entire day.
That may not seem like a lot, but when you just have a two and a half week schedule, a one day is a lot of time.

M: Within the budget, there was the money for some State orchestra to play the score for you.

Elvira: We went all the way to Russia to have this done, and it was done by the Russian Symphony Orchestra who were incredible and again, costs, a dime on the dollar of what we would’ve paid over here.

Maynard: In Romania was you couldn’t get a good stunt double, could you?

E: I couldn’t get a good stunt double. No. We got maybe the only female stunt girl that we could find. She unfortunately was missing a couple of things that she needed to play Elvira.

M: You have a rather voluptuous figure, which not all stunt doubles would probably have. It’d probably be a bad thing for their profession to, to have the, yeah.

Elvira: That, yeah. True. It just gets in the way. It could be a good thing, it does help cushion your falls, but that’s true. I don’t know. She was. Flat as a board. A wonderful girl and very talented as a stunt person, but flat as a board. So when it came to the scene for the pit and the pendulum, I actually had to do my own stunt work, which doesn’t seem like much to lay around all day on a slab.
But when you think about a 500 pound pendulum, even though it was made from fiberglass, it still weighed 500 pounds and it was so sharp, hanging right over your nose and swinging back and forth for several hours. Let me tell you that, that was no picnic.

M: I thought, on your right boob, there was a mark.

Elvira: Actually, there was a scratch mark there. What I did I there was I took a deep breath and the blade swung past me and made quite a large scratch across my breast. So just imagine if I would’ve sat up, I really think I would’ve been split in two. Anything that’s 500 pounds swinging back and forth at you, if it hits you going at quite a speed it’s not gonna be good. It was pretty damn frightening. I gotta tell you.

M: I heard you were gonna retire the Elvira character. Is that true? You gonna do some more Elvira work? What’s gonna happen Cassandra?
E: I’m working on a few projects right now. Another film that’ll probably be for video, it’s for a younger audience and it’s a film of one of the books I wrote a few years ago Camp Vamp, but I am moving the character toward eventually someone else playing the character.
I’m also working on an animation project right now, which is great because, I don’t have to look good. Also, I’ve been doing various voiceovers for a new channel here in United States called the Monster Channel, and I’ve been doing a lot of voiceovers for them. But eventually I’d love to see someone like, anybody, Angelina Jolie or whatever, play Elvira in another film.
To stretch herself as an actress in her most challenging role.

M: How do you cast that? If you had to say in a paragraph, this is what the character is and this is what you’ve gotta do, what would you say?

E: Oh my God, actress wanted to wear slinky dress, must have generous physical attributes and be pretty confident.

M: And sassy.

E: Sassy! That’s it sassy.

M: If nothing else, you are sassy or Elvira. I think we’ve sum up the whole character in one word there. Elvira’s Haunted Hills, it’s at video shops around the nation at this moment. What’s your favourite scene? What’s the one we should look out for?

Elvira: I think my favourite scene is the kind of the love scenes that I do with the handsome hunk, who I am chasing throughout the film. The guy we hired only spoke Romanians, so we dubbed his voice, dubbed it in the old style from the old fifties and sixties. Old Hercules films, very bad dubbing job.
That scene just cracks everybody up. It’s hilarious. I’m talking to him. He’s the only person who’s dubbed in the entire film. When you’re first watching it, you’re just like, what? What? Huh? It really throws you for a minute. Tthat was just a lucky mistake because we couldn’t find a guy with big muscles and long hair who could speak English.
So we took what we could get and it turned out to be a big asset.

Maynard: Cassandra, could you give us a big Elvira goodbye and we’ll see you next project.

Elvira: Alrighty. Unpleasant dreams, darling! from Elvira.

The Spotfull James Valentine. Free of domestic guilt.

In 2007 James Valentine revealed to me why he is free of domestic guilt.

His book Spotfull was out, as a reaction to people who spend their entire weekend cleaning their white goods.

This is from the Maynard International Studios 2007 archive in the hope that James may persuade you to have a bath instead of cleaning it.

James Valentine official website

Photo of The Models backstage in Sydney 1985. James Freud, Maynard, James Valentine, Wendy Mathews, Roger Mason.
Maynard backstage while doing guest trombone with The Models 1985.

Maynard: James, what is Spot Full all about? I think from my perspective, I find it dull on the radio, but you are a recovering cleaning addict. What’s the story?
James Valentine: It’s true. Look it, it’s Spotfull is the book I’ve written as a response to the Spotless phenomenon and I’ve had to do,
Maynard: and that’s just insane. There’s too many fuss budgets out there with time on the hands.
James Valentine: Exactly. And I had to do this because, I am responsible for Spotless. I introduced Shannon Lush and the whole bicarbonate and soda and vinegar cleaning phenomenon to Australia, and I apologize for it. I’m sorry. I dunno what, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know the genie. I was letting outta the bottle when that happened. Turn the nation into a group of people obsessed with cleaning, with getting rid of all spots and stains. And I just thought, I don’t think people really live like that. I think people live like pigs. Spotfull encourages you to live free of domestic guilt, to embrace your inner a slob and just lie back and relax.
Maynard: Yes. So I’m a single guy living on my own.
James Valentine: Oh, you are one. You. Prime Spotfull candidate.
Maynard: See, I don’t clean till I say it’s time to clean or my parents or a date is coming over.
James Valentine: Yeah, I would suggest the true Spotfull approach would be that the date never comes over. What are motels for?
Maynard: Exactly.
James Valentine: And it’s cheaper. It’s cheaper. You would be better off hiring a nice room in a hotel than you would be trying to clean up your pad, I would imagine, mate.
Maynard: And you can get away with free drinks there if you do it properly.
James Valentine: I advocate it’s cheaper to stay in five star hotels than renovate.
No one should ever bother to renovate a home. You should simply move out and live in five star luxury.
Maynard: I read that chapter because apparently the renovation cost can change. Where the cost of checking into a five star hotel doesn’t,
James Valentine: it doesn’t. You know what you’re in for. If you decide to renovate your falling down home the quote will be 100,000. You’ll end up paying 200,000. When you go to check into a hotel, they say, thank you very much. It’s 200 a night and it stays 200 a night. So you know what you’re in for and it’s much better. And if you renovate a home, you turn it into a home that has to be cleaned.
Maynard: James, one thing that you get to in your book is that there’s a few letters from people there, and one of the letters I quite enjoyed that there’s, there are some people who make a large part of their weekend, they plan to do things on their weekend that I would consider unusual, for example, planning to clean your freezer.
James Valentine: Yeah. I just find that astonishing, that somebody would think is I’m wanting to clean my freezer and I’d like some hints about how to do that. And my suggestion is join a tennis club. Perhaps go bush walking. Have you ever been to an art gallery? Do anything but clean your freezer.
Freezers can just sit there, can’t they? I wouldn’t clean the freezer if I was trying to sell the fridge. You just take it outside, it melts, it disappears. And that’s about it. Isn’t it. It would never occur to me to clean a freezer.
Maynard: Naturally I have the whole thing of cleaning the freezer because I move about every 2 years.
So the freezer cleans itself during the moving process?
James Valentine: Exactly. In the days leading up to that move, you probably don’t need to shop either, because there’d be all sorts of frozen sausages that are suddenly emerging from the freezer. There’d be at least six fish fingers. There’d be a pizza base. That you’d long ago didn’t even know you had. You thought that was just the floor of the freezer.
Maynard: You live like a king.
James Valentine: You live like a king for three days until you move. But also a king that has days full of surprises. Oh my God, look what the freezer has thrown up. It’s like being in Siberia and finding a mammoth.
Maynard: You do make a point of people that, that try and feel good about saving their leftover food by keeping their leftovers. And this is a two step process. One, it makes you feel good about the environment and the world and your ipo, and also you think you may be saving money.
And I’ve found this to be a false societal conscience and a false economy. Your thoughts Mr. Valentine.
James Valentine: Maynard, , this is a direct, direct experience from living with my wife Joanne, who does this, you order Green chicken curry. Green chicken curry comes, you eat about half of it and she puts it the takeaway container in the fridge, and you look at her and go, are you really gonna have that tomorrow?
Are you really gonna have that green chicken curry for lunch tomorrow? She says, I might. And I know from 20 years experience, she won’t any later than about four o’clock the next day. She would take that outta the fridge and go, do you think this is all right to eat? And you’d go, yeah, it’s fine.
She’d go I’m not sure. And then she might put it back. But it’s the last thing she wants to do is put it in the bin because A, she thinks that , all she hears is her mother saying there are starving children in Ethiopia, which is where they were starving when we were children, and now they are again.
And then. She also thinks that somehow the mortgage will be paid if she puts that green chicken curry into the fridge for a while, that will help with the payments. I say straight into the bin and get rid of it.
Maynard: And another way I find it interesting from your book here is the problem of mildew spots on old baby clothes. Now, I wouldn’t be aware this problem even existed.
James Valentine: See if you’ve if you have children, this is a common question that you get, again, on the Shannon Lush sort of segment is where people ring up and say, I’ve got some old baby clothes and they’ve been in a bag for some years, and I’d like to clean them up.
What should I do? I. What I find interesting in that question is that there’s this lovely, there’s a sentimental moment where your child grows out of the toddler clothes and you clean out a drawer and you think, oh, that’s a lovely piece. I’m going to keep that. And you put it away somewhere carefully. The question is, keep it. For what are you thinking at 18? You might pull it when the child’s 18. You might pull it out and look at it and go, this is what you wore as a toddler when that child has children of their own. You’ll pass on some then 25-year-old baby clothes. Are you just gonna get them out every now and again just to have a little look at one or two pieces?
Certainly, a fine christening robe a lovely little outfit perhaps, but people keep a whole lot of this stuff with the idea that somehow they’re gonna do something with it. My general approach to mildew on the baby clothes is you should have got rid of that stuff a long time ago.
Maynard: And what has been the reaction of the Shannon Lush and the whole crowd to to you taking the poodle out of the whole thing?
James Valentine: They love it. They love it. How much does Shannon Lush love the fact that she’s gone from obscurity to nothing? Via my radio show and ABC books, she sold 600,000 copies of Spotless and Speed Cleaning and Comfy. Now she’s reached a point where she’s so popular and so well known, it’s worth my time satirising her. There is no greater compliment. None more than parody.
Maynard: And one last question. What is the optimum length of time before changing the sheets on a bed?
James Valentine: I think when when you can’t sleep, when it’s reached a point where you’re going, I really can’t sleep. But otherwise, up until then, if you’re getting in and you’re cozy, eh, why are you, what are you worried about?
Maynard: So when the bed texture starts to resemble the Plains of Nazca, something like that.
James valentine: You know it because you can’t quite get to sleep.
Maynard: James Valentine, dirt up!
James Valentine: That’s me.

Download your free Maynard 2026 calendar

I’m reliably told 2026 is going to be another year. Enjoy it as best you can with the colour and movement of your own 2026 Maynard calendar.

Experience 2026 the Maynard way, as prepared by Richard Saunders. Yet again.

Simply download it from the link below and print it any size you like.

Suitable for hanging behind the door of your choice, proving that when one door closes, it’s closed.

As we always say “2026, could it get any worse?”

Download Maynard 2026 calendar

Video – A Very Maynard Xmas 2025

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 brings you the unexpected festive farce that you’ve come to expect from someone who has inflatable legs for a window.

Low budget has been swapped out for no budget this year as a Xanadu-themed Xmas special brings you the talents of Leslie Fountain (Glenn Keenan), Fat Elvis (Chris Kelly, Ship-o’-Fools) and Olivia Cardboard-John on the Maynard International Studios Mainstage, as well as greetings from around the world and around Tony Push (whose new teeth are a feature this year), plus more impractical outfits and the wonders of Magpie TV.

Watch in wonder at A Very Maynard Xmas 2025

Guests include Tim Ferguson (Australian legend), one Wiggle and two Cockroaches and an indeterminate Xmas hand puppet. Leslie Fountain brings his finest Xanadu moves to our stage, Brigitte Handley has issues with technology, Tony Push is poorly lit on a dodgy street in Western Sydney, and George Hrab is all over Xmas like a rash as usual.

It’s the Xmas special that you probably don’t want or need, but you have anyway. Just in case everything else falls through. Where else are you going to get someone in a tree getting excited about Supernaut?

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 promises you an hour of Xmas entertainment for which you will only have yourself to blame. Musically the show has everything from Swing to The New Seekers in their flares and maxi dresses. Plus, as expected, both the West Germans and that magpie remain permanently unimpressed.

For the first time, here is A Very Maynard Xmas (pre show)
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
None of us know what is happening next. On A very Maynard Xmas show 2025.
None of us know what is happening next. Especially Tim Ferguson’s dog Kylie Minogue.
Maynard and Leslie Fountain during Xanadu song onstage.
Leslie Fountain is drained while Maynard helps Olivia Cardboard-John ascend.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2024

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2023

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2022

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2021

Watch A Very 2020 Maynard Xmas.

Poster for A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Believe the hype

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 – Sat 6th December 8.05pm (Syd)

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 brings you the unexpected festive farce that you’ve come to expect from someone who has inflatable legs for a window.

Here is the link to view A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 for free. It will be live from around 8.15pm Saturday 6th December. Watch along with us and comment like a crazy person.

Low budget has been swapped out for no budget this year as a Xanadu-themed Xmas special brings you the talents of Leslie Fountain (Glenn Keenan), Fat Elvis (Chris Kelly, Ship-o’-Fools) and Olivia Cardboard-John on the Maynard International Studios Mainstage, as well as greetings from around the world and Bexley, plus more impractical outfits and the wonders of Magpie TV.

What you can expect Saturday December 6th from 8.15pm…

Guests include Tim Ferguson (Australian legend), one Wiggle and two Cockroaches and an indeterminate Xmas hand puppet. Leslie Fountain brings his finest Xanadu moves to our stage, Brigitte Handley has issues with technology, Tony Push is poorly lit on a dodgy street in Western Sydney, and George Hrab is all over Xmas like a rash as usual.

It’s the Xmas special that you probably don’t want or need, but you have anyway. Just in case everything else falls through. Where else are you going to get someone in a tree getting excited about Supernaut?

A Very Maynard Xmas 2025 promises you an hour of Xmas entertainment for which you will only have yourself to blame. Musically the show has everything from Swing to The New Seekers in their flares and maxi dresses. Plus, as expected, both the West Germans and that magpie remain permanently unimpressed.

A bit more of what you can expect Saturday December 6th from 8.15pm…
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard dances onstage with Fat Elvis. A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
Maynard as the mythical Dr Who Christmas Nimon.
Maynard and Leslie Fountain during Xanadu song onstage.
Leslie Fountain is drained while Maynard helps Olivia Cardboard-John ascend.
None of us know what is happening next. On A very Maynard Xmas show 2025.
None of us know what is happening next. Especially Tim Ferguson’s dog Kylie Minogue.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.
Richard Saunders is the entire crew once again this year.

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2024

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2023

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2022

Watch A Very Maynard Xmas 2021

Watch A Very 2020 Maynard Xmas.

Poster for A Very Maynard Xmas 2025
Believe the hype

Celebrating Xanadu on morning television

Thanks to David Campbell, Sylvia Jeffries and all the crew at Today Extra this morning for getting so excited about our upcoming 45th anniversary screening of Xanadu at the Sydney Underground Film Festival on 13th September.

Details about the screening and afterparty here

Maynard watches Xanadu with Gene Kelly 45 years later.
I’m still impressed with Gene Kelly’s outfits in Xanadu 45 years later.
Maynard demonstrates one way to pose with Olivia Cardboard-John.
I guess this is just one way to pose with Olivia Cardboard-John.

Maynard interview and tribute to Olivia from 2022

Download your free 2025/26 16 month Xanadu calendar

To celebrate finally getting to see the greatest disco roller skating movie ever made involving Olivia Newton-John on the BIG screen, download your free 15 month Xanadu calendar.

Suitable for your art studio or your new roller disco nightclub, it runs from September 2025 to the end of 2026.

You can boldly print it as large as A3 (or a more discrete A6). You’ll love the colour and movement only a static calendar featuring supernatural beings can provide. Richard Saunders has really outdone himself in designing a colourful tribute to an unforgettable part of cinematic history. He even went out and bought a colourful velour jumper to match the finale of the film, he’s that into it.

Enjoy! I hope to see many of you at the Xanadu screening and after party on the 13th September as part of Sydney Underground Film Festival.

Simply download it from the link below and print it any size you like.

  Download Xanadu Calendar 2025

Xanadu “a place where dreams come true”. Now you have a calendar as well. So, go get ya skates on!

Maynard Xanadu 2025/26 calendar thumbnails
Look at all these months of Xanadu.

Sydney, Get Ya Skates On ! Maynard presents Xanadu at Sydney Underground Film Festival

Maynard presents the second greatest musical from 1980: Xanadu.

Xanadu will be screened for your viewing pleasure in Sydney for one night only on Saturday 13th September, 8.30pm as part of Sydney Underground Film Festival at The Dendy Cinema, Newtown.

Then join us afterwards for the unlikely 1980 Disco afterparty at Bootleggers, upstairs at Kelly’s On King almost next door in King Street, Newtown from around 10.30pm. I’ll be your DJ, so you’ve been warned.

Olivia Newton-John as the Greek muse Terpsichore comes to earth to inspire two guys who are low on their creative juices. One is Gene Kelly in his last big starring movie role, the other one is Michael Beck, hot off The Warriors and coincidentally also in his last big starring movie role.

The Electric Light Orchestra do the soundtrack to a seemingly never-ending festival of flowing drapery and fluoro.

Gene Kelly, 72 years old at the time, risks his life roller skating in the finale that is over the top and under the table at the same time.

Olivia Newton-John was in this film instead of Can’t Stop the Music. Frankly I think she should have been in both, and probably Spice World as well. Every moment she’s on the screen is the best part of the film. Sadly she only gets one outfit for most of it, then gets about 10 different outfits in the final minutes.

Get your tickets from Dendy Newtown

This film is for anyone who has stapled a ribbon to a stick and run around the house imagining they are in the rhythmic gymnastics at the Olympics. My favourite number is All Over the World, for its blatant over-acting from almost every extra and the special effects that you may have seen in Tron and The Black Hole.

Scholars of Ancient Greek mythology will be bewildered and confused, but potentially entertained.

Xanadu is a much-maligned movie. Unfairly so, considering it was originally conceived to be even more of a roller disco movie than it turned out. It is often given the back handed compliment of being a “guilty pleasure”. Let us absolve you of your roller skate induced guilt! Unless you are Catholic, feel no shame whatsoever and enjoy every ELO-filled moment of movement from a cast best described as disco diverse.

If you came to last year’s Village People screening, you know we encourage singing and dancing, so glide along to Xanadu in what will be the most shameless cinema environment in Sydney. There will be lo-fi but unique prizes for best outfits.

Eye popping scene from Xanadu movie.
Even they can’t believe this movie!

Actual roller skates are not encouraged at the screening. Think of them as a signifier, or a metaphor, on how your life could be if you hung out with the guy from The Warriors (Micheal Beck).

What other film offers so many genres of music, with so much colour and roller-skated movement? It’s FUN in the extreme.

If you still have criticisms of this misunderstood masterpiece, you’re the one with issues, not us. We’ll be dancin’ at the after party …

Tickets are limited, as are the number of discerning people who love this leg warmer of a musical. There is nothing quite like sharing the enjoyment of the unique film with a loud cinema of like minded people. To quote Olivia herself from the film “I thought we were going roller skating.” Well you are, but without the bruising.

Watch Maynard interview with Olivia Newton-John & some of her career highlights.

Maynard with Olivia Xanadu poster
I am so up for Xanadu

Download your free 2025/2026 Xanadu calendar

Scenes from the movie. Xanadu has everything!
Xanadu has everything!

Filmink – Xanadu at 45: Be a Xanadu, Not a Xanadon’t. Why I think Xanadu should not be poo-pooed.