Australia has always enjoyed an inordinate ability to laugh at itself, so needing a good laugh and well meaning carry-on, enjoy Brain Freeze with 30 odd (very odd) video clips from theColdest 100 – 2023.
With two big shows over two Saturday nights, it is Australia’s Coldest 100 – 2023. Hand picked by Andrew Sholl, it features world class musical shonk that only Australia can produce. From Marlene Dietrich to Steven Farnham via Skippy. The Coldest 100 is songs about Australia, or by Australians that sometimes don’t work out that well…
Brain Freeze Part Two
Appearances from Tim Ferguson, Lesley Fountain (Glenn Keenan), Brigitte Handley, Charlie Fatt, Tony Push, Richard Saunders and (time permitting) Noam Chomsky the communist teddy bear arts lawyer.
Just look at this list of artists that Andrew Sholl has curated that you’ll never again see on the same bill. The Coldest 100 – 2023 brings Bud Tingwell, Germaine Greer, Tina Arena, The Singing Citizens of Macarthur, Johnny Raper, Ian Turpie singing some Nirvana, and the legend himself, Steven Farnham.
From Skippy to The Muppets, Kamahl, Young Talent Time, Julia Morris and Melissa Tkautz, it’s two shows YOU don’t have to apologise for.
Going out as livestreams in HQ with a pre show, here are the edited versions for you.
Keep an eye out for special guests Tim Ferguson, Brigitte Handley, Lesley Fountain/Glenn Keenan, Charlie Fatt and others that were sucked in to add to the cultural carnage.
@OzKitsch on Twitter has been compiling this list every January for the last eight years. This year his clips were so good we made the show twice…
Prepare yourself for the video livestream of the warmest parts of The Coldest 100, 2023. So much this year it takes TWO one hour shows to appreciate it.
Maynard hosts a video livestream of Australia’s own Coldest 100 – 2023. Saturday 6th May AND 13th May 8.30-9.30pm. (UTC 10.30-11.30) Pre-show from 8.15pm (UTC 10.15) Hand picked by Andrew Sholl, @OzKitsch on Twitter & Instagram, it will feature world class Australiana that only Australia can produce (obviously).
The Coldest 100 is songs about Australia, or by Australians that somehow worked out well (or not)
Expect to see Bindi Irwin and her Crock Men, Johnny Raper, some of the Young Talent Team, Julia Morris, the legend that is Kamahl, Marlene Dietrich, Miss Piggy, Bud Tingwell and Yahoo Serious doing their bit to get on the show.
With guest presenter appearances from Tim Ferguson, Brigitte Handley, reality challenged Tony Push, some Planet Maynard Patreons, Lesley Fountain (Glenn Keenan) and the guy who started the whole shabang Andrew Sholl.
See you then! Cobbers…..
Just watch the clip below to see what you can expect…..
Brigitte Handley of The Dark Shadows has returned to Australia to let Maynard know what he is missing on German television. Also to remind all of us of the educational value of the work of Falco (even though he was Austrian).
She’s been exploring a new range of sounds there and has been working with Matahari Ranch to produce a full sound and stark video for Köln.
So enjoy a Sour Candy, meet us in the Kylie Minogue park in Glebe and prepare yee for the way of “Schlager”. Careful with your pronunciation of “Klaus Wunderlich”.
It’s great catching up with Brigitte, apparently Dr Who doesn’t translate well into German, but Skippy does?
Tilly Electronics have a new single as well “Tilly Pop”, but that’s a story for another day.
The Dark Shadows – Brigitte Handley, Ned Wu, Carly Chalker
Weird Al Yankovic rocked the very foundations of Australian society during his recent tour of the continent. With his hot accordion and even hotter band he left little or no doubt who wears the Hawaiian shirt in his relationship with his dedicated fans. Maynard interviewed Al and some of his fans at Enmore Theatre, Sydney 14th March.
Enjoy watching a show no sane adult should be party to.
Weird Al Yankovic rocked the very foundations of Australian society during his recent tour of the continent. With his hot accordion and even hotter band he left little doubt who wears the Hawaiian shirt in his relationship with his dedicated fans. Maynard interviewed Al and some of his fans at Enmore Theatre, Sydney 14th March. Watch along live and join us in the chatroom for an show no sane adult should be party to.
It will all happen at https://www.mixcloud.com/live/dj-maynard/ with a pre show starting at 8.15pm (9.15 UTC). It’s free to watch and you can join all the fun in the live chatroom so be in on it.
Jon English was a towering professional in the Australian theatre and music world from his first national appearance as Judas in the 1972 production of Jesus Christ Superstar.
I first met Jon when he was working on his musical Paris and he dropped in to the Triple J breakfast show a number of times. Always up for a laugh.
I last spoke to him in 2002 when he was touring a revival of Pirates of Penzance, shortly before his press conference at the Civic Theatre, Newcastle.
Jon talks about his early TV work and missing out on that zombie role he always wanted to play.
Australia’s Coldest 100 returns for 2023 this Saturday 28th January with world class musical curiosities that only this wide and very beige land of Australia can produce.
Just look at this list of artists that Andrew Sholl has curated that you’ll never again see on the same list. This is Andrew’s seventh Coldest 100 and he doesn’t foresee running out of clips anytime soon.
The 2023 Coldest 100 brings Bud Tingwell, Wickety Wak, Germaine Greer, Tina Arena, The singing Citizens of Macarthur, Johnny Raper, Ian Turpie singing some Nirvana, and the legend himself, Steven Farnham.
Thrill to wonderful jingles that remind you of the natural beauty that is Perth, Brisbane and a chicken restaurant chain in Melbourne.
A recession may be averted by the use of interpretive dance on the Sunrise show…
After all, anyone can put together a list of the latest good songs. It takes a certain kind of goose like Andrew Sholl to put together 100 songs of Australian musical flotsam for 8 years in a row now.
The Coldest 100 this year has everything from Marlene Dietrich to Steven Farnham…
Andrew Sholl
It will all be going down from 9am Saturday 28th January on Twitter @Ozkitsch Andrew Sholl shows no sign of ever stopping his annual festival of Aussie frippery. So lean into it.
There’s a new Captain Scarlet and The Mysterons podcast from Luke at UFOcast. As guest presenter (Captain Aubergine) on the latest podcast, I look into the episode Traitor, in which Captain Scarlet and Captain Blue travel to exotic Australia to give a morale boosting Power Point presentation while secretly investigating possible sabotage and in the process they find out just how much Koala Base can bear.
Captain Scarlet & Captain Blue travel to far flung Australia. Their mission; to find out how much Koala Base can bear.
Maynard, Captain Aubergine, reporting in from Spectrum Station, Sydney, Australia.
Man, this is a pretty exciting one set in Australia. I had to put my hand up for this one. The most exotic place that the Mysterons hardly ever go: Australia.
Captain Scarlet & The Mysterons from 1968. Episode – Traitor
There’s no reporting as to how far this is from Lady Penelope’s sheep farm, Bonga Bonga. “Come in Bonga Bonga.” “Bonga Bonga to Mr Tracy. ‘Eer ladyship’s hout with the sheep.” And this quick trivia question: how many sheep at Bonga Bonga did Lady Penelope have in her flock? “There must be 200,000 animals on that station.” “200,007, sir, that’s the trouble. Her ladyship could only find 200,006.” And we know that because she had a digital ship counting meter.
But enough of that. Let’s go onto the serious, googly-eyed, spooky stuff from the Mystrerons. Or … are they? Just a word about the opening titles too. I, as a kid, and even now, I just love that first shot of Captain Blue, where he looks straight at the camera. And the shot of Colonel White: every time the Mysterons get on the blower, just look at his face. He turns around in his mobile desk: “Not this palaver again” – and you can just see that in his face.
We are going to Koala Base in Australia, where we’ll find out how much a Koala Base can bear. And the Australian accents aren’t too bad. The best accent, of course, is in the flashback sequence: Bud Tingwall, he’s the helicopter pilot. On ya Bud!
Gerry Anderson was quite prophetic because even to this day in Pitt Street, Sydney, you can’t move for the amount of hovercrafts that people use to get around in Australia.
“Spectrum will be torn apart from within”. That’s spooky. Captain Black there, dressed like an extremely over the top Goth DJ. You know he’s going home and listening to The Cure.
This thing could just be a huge suck in. I mean, you don’t have to believe what the Mysterons say. We think that’s just Spectrum that’s getting that, but imagine if they’re just annoying everybody in the entire world who’s trying to watch the final question on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”, and that comes on. “This is the voice of the Mysterons.” Ruins the whole thing. “We know that you can hear us Earth Men.” “Boo!”
So Colonel White goes downstairs to have a chat with the guys just hanging out in the Captain Scarlet, Captain Blue Bar by the look of it. And check out that bear skin rug. “Lieutenant Green.” “Yes, Colonel White.” “Where’s your hat?” “I want to see Captain Blue and Captain Scarlet, where are they?” “In the lounge, Sir.”
Check out what is on the table! My memory might be deceiving me here, but I remember in the 60s and it is still available: I think that is nothing less than a bottle of Drambuie on the table there. Back in the 60s it was unacceptable if you did not have Drambuie in the workplace. I bet Colonel White shot that bear himself.
So they’re ready to have a bit of a Drambuie and soda before they go off on their next adventure. I mean, it’s not as if Captain Scarlet has to be careful with what he drinks. “I’m afraid the whole episode is a complete blank.” Oh, also the 1960s massive group ashtray that would normally be seen on any table. You only see that kind of ash tray student accommodation these days.
But at Koala Base, they’ve lost three hovercraft in six days. You know what they say? To lose one hovercraft is careless, to lose three is just gotta be the Mysterons. Also you can’t use a Mysteron detector yet again because it’s a traitor. So it’s someone who hasn’t been Mysteron-ed and googly-eyed. Ah, that’s a new way to get out of having to use it. Normally it has to be blown up, lost or the batteries are flat.
Oh and a great scene of the Angels being launched there too, all of them being launched with all their harp action. And about the soundtrack: this is one of the few episodes of Captain Scarlet where all the recordings have been lost of it. “Traitor” is an episode where no original tapes survive, unfortunately. But just on a side note, have a look around the web and get on and have a listen to Barry Gray’s commercial work. He did a lot of commercial work, little jingles and stabs for all sorts of things in the UK and around Europe. That guy was a genius, and his music in this is not enough jazz flute, as in “Model Spy”, but still pretty good.
Also, while the series was in production, by this time they were behind a bit, so they had to make some cuttings to get some episodes coming in on time. And in this one, that’s why we had the longer flashback sequence. But they made sure that this flashback sequence was not used with another flashback sequence that they were going to use later in the series.
This episode was directed by Alan Perry (and there were some bits that were cut out that make the story seem a bit odd), written by Tony Barwick himself. The script man for Captain Scarlet.
Plus also taking the Mysterons at their word means that they can just trick you. They can go “We’re going to bomb Puerto Rico, everybody go to Puerto Rico!” and they bomb somewhere else. It could just be a huge Mysteron suck in.
As an Australian, I’ve got a problem with the dirt used in this. That is not what the Australian Outback looks like. Well, it doesn’t really look like a Lady Penelope’s sheep farm either, that was extremely lush and green. I think there’s been some of the soil used from the “Lunarville 7” episode, that’s ex-moon stuff they’ve used there. Koala Base looks like a very lush moonscape. But still, if you order a lot of orangey kind of coloured sand for your “Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons” set where else are you going to use it?
So Colonel White sends Captain Blue and Captain Scarlet to do a red hot PowerPoint presentation for the Cadets, because that’ll really increase morale. “The recruits are looking forward to your lectures.”
Captain Scarlet, Traitor – Captain Scarlet and Captain Blue give a red hot lecture to improve moral.
“I’m sure you’d like me to thank Captain Scarlet on your behalf for that most interesting lecture. Now if there are any questions?” “Captain Scarlet?” “Yeah, yeah, that lecture was really great and everything, but could you tell us about that time you died, and try not to leave out any of the really painful personal details? Could you tell us the time you died? You know, the big fall, and don’t leave out the bit with Bud Tingwell.”
Then we flash back to the footage of that fateful day, where it seems they did want to capture the World President alive once again. If you’d parked your car in that car station that day, and then Spectrum came along and completely knocked it down, you’d be just slightly irked. “Yeah, I’ll be home to pick up the kids. What? The car, what? What? The whole parking station’s gone? Oh, that’d be that Spectrum mob again, wouldn’t it? Them and their bloody helicopter.” “Spectrum Helicopter A42, what is your position?” “I’m already heading for London Car View. Will rendezvous in one minute.” Bud Tingwell!
Captain Scarlet, Traitor – Not a great day to park in the Car View carpark.
Fashion wise, one of the only faults I can spot in this episode, “Traitor”, is that Captain Blue and Captain Scarlet don’t have matching blue and scarlet pajamas. That’d be cool!
And just on the whole Captain Scarlet sleeping issue, I’m surprised that guy can get any sleep with the amount of trauma he’s continually getting, being killed at least once or twice a week and coming back and getting killed again and coming back and he can sleep? He can close his eyes and go la-la-la… Come on! “Yes, I’m all right.”
But then in their sleeping quarters, fire breaks out in their quarters. It’s like someone left a Patchouli candle a bit too close to the curtain or something. Again in the crew huts, no smoke detectors. I guess it was the 60s, if you put a smoke detector in the hut, it’d be going off all the time because everyone would be having a puff on a Rothmans.
Also, in this episode, we get a rare, rare occurrence of Captain Scarlet cracking a funny: “Well, let’s hope spontaneous combustion doesn’t break out in here.”
And so now the episode “Traitor” changes from a search for a possible traitor to a whodunnit. Of course Trainee Machin suspects Captain Scarlet. Why would you suspect Captain Scarlet? Just because he’s a duplicate of the original person who’s died, made by the Mysterons, and had a mysterious, whoops, fall off a car park, and since then has been working with Spectrum as an exact copy of the original, not the original, and is no longer in the Mysteron’s power for some reason that doesn’t seem to happen to anyone else when they fall off a car park. I don’t know why you’d suspect him at all. That’s just silly. “Captain Scarlet would have access to all sections of Spectrum, including the plant where the hovercraft were made.” “What are you driving at?” “Just thinking.”
As it was originally filmed, it was intended to have a bit of a shadowy person moving around near the curtain, so it might give you a bit of a thought that, ah, who’s that? But that had to be cut for time. So after the mysterious fire the night before, they hop on for their hovercraft mission, and the temperature outside is 120 degrees Fahrenheit, which is 48.9 degrees Celsius. Hovercraft? You think they’d be designing for that. I bet you it never gets that hot at Lady Penelope’s sheep station.
“Well, if anything’s going to happen, now’s the time.” Everything’s going well until, uh oh, that hovercraft goes bung too. “We’re losing control!” And Machin gets the gun out on Captain Scarlet because there’s no reason you’d suspect him of being a traitor like I said. But interestingly enough, Captain Blue becomes the voice of reason: “Wait a minute, you’re jumping to conclusions. I might be the traitor, or anyone on the base.” “You’re trying to confuse me.” Then they get into it. “He’s a traitor.” “No, he’s the traitor.” Sort of a reverse “I’m Spartacus” situation going on here.
Captain Blue has the voice of reason, gets in between the whole thing and breaks the whole thing up because really it’s gonna go boom soon, everybody’s got to get out of the emergency exit. “Captain Blue, take these two to the escape hatch and get cleared. I’ll get the instrument recorder.” And some great hand modelling work there from Captain Scarlet, as he pulls the black box off the wall so they can find out what happened to this hovercraft. Did anybody think of looking at the other hovercrafts’ black boxes …? Don’t worry, don’t worry. “Time’s running out.”
“Well gentlemen.” “There’s our traitor: one tiny valve from the hovercraft hydraulic system caused all the trouble.” “Yes, Major.” “We have seen how the Mysterons play on the weaknesses of men.” Some philosophy there with Colonel White at the end. No apology. No well, sorry about the whole wanting to shoot you thing, it’s just yeah, you know, the Mysterons do what the Mysterons do. “We can only assume it is the work of the Mysterons.” The problem all this time has been … crap engineering! A faulty hydraulic valve. It seems the Mysterons have been able to alter the atomic structure of the very metal itself, or maybe there’s just some dodgy hydraulic valve manufacturer somewhere in Sheffield.
Captain Scarlet, Traitor – “There’s your problem”. A dodgy valve?
So does that mean the Mysterons put their googly eyes on the hovercraft at some stage like they do with other inanimate objects to make them fail? Or is that the way they always make things fail? It’s an episode that kind of raises more questions than answers really. This gives weight to Luke’s theory that the Mysterons are just doing this whole war-of-nerves thing with the Earth Men because, uh, well, they’ve got time in their hands really. It’s not like they’ve got to go to work. They can rebuild anything they’ve already done. They’re probably sitting around on a Friday afternoon going “I know, let’s make a valve weak on the hovercraft, let ’em all fight amongst themselves.” So the whole Mysterons War with Earth is kind of like they’re doing it for Mysterons and Giggles?
There are a few loose ends here, Tony Barwick. Who started the fire? How did the fire start? But there’s some fantastic Supermarionation hand waving at the end to answer these questions for us: “And the fire in our bedroom at the base?” So was it the Patchouli oil that started the fire with the candle and the curtain? Was it smoking in bed? Did someone knock over a bong? “That is something to which we shall never know the answer.” We’ll never know. So don’t even think about it. Don’t stay awake at night wondering if things are gonna catch fire. Nothing to see here. “All we can do is remain vigilant.”
But as an episode goes, it’s very different to most other ones as there’s no googly eye dead person coming back and going “Boo!”. We’re looking for a traitor. It’s a good whodunnit. I’ve got a feeling that Columbo probably could have solved the case faster than Captain Scarlet, but that still leaves the loose end of that fire. Anyway, I know I will sleep more soundly tonight in my bed knowing Captain Scarlet and Captain Blue are on the beat.
One final thought – with everything we know from this episode, and with everything we know about the metallurgy of the hovercraft, I’ll leave you with this from Machin: “Listen, Captain Scarlet would have access to all sections of Spectrum, including the plant where the hovercraft were made.” “What are you driving at?” “Just thinking.”
Maynard, Captain Aubergine, Sydney, Australia signing off. Well, I’m going to pop over to Lady Penelope’s sheep farm now. I’ll have a Drambuie and soda, thank you. A large one.
There’s a new Captain Scarlet and The Mysterons podcast from Luke at UFOcast. As a guest presenter (Captain Aubergine) on the latest podcast, I look into episode Model Spy, in which Captain Scarlet goes undercover in the world of high fashion, and probably gets killed twice. But he’s not bitter. Not at all.
Captain Scarlet & The Angels go undercover into the world of high fashion and outrageous French accents.
Captain Aubergine here, reporting from Sydney, Australia. Lighten up Spectrum fans because this episode’s gonna be a lot of fun as we go on the French Riviera and Captain Scarlet goes into the whole world of high fashion! But it gets very dark. Like every other episode of Captain Scarlet usually does.
In this episode – Model Spy – the Mysterons plan to kill a famous fashion designer, Andre Verdain, and in doing so making the fashion community the world over and Madonna LIVID at the Mysterons. So they can kiss goodbye to getting into any decent nightclub ever again. “Sorry! No Mysterons allowed.” “But my name’s on the door.” “Go on mate, take your googly eyes and go somewhere else.”
And there’s great music in this too, especially recorded tracks for this one: “Models on a Train” and “Cocktail Time”.
And as the models are complaining, it is very tiring being a fashion model. But things get a lot worse when the Mysterons put their googly eyes over the train and oh look out, bang! And we get the scene of two models being killed in a vicious train wreck, which of course won’t upset the kids because 1967.
And the Mysterons give away the plan at the beginning of every show: “Yeah, we’re gonna kill that fashion guy.” Also, we get to hear the real names of Captain Scarlet and Captain Blue. Captain Scarlet: Paul Metcalfe and Captain Blue: Adam Svensen. Is he Swedish or Norwegian? Well, they go undercover with Destiny Angel and Symphony Angel – Gabrielle and Helga – voiced by Sylvia Anderson, herself, and Liz Morgan as Helga. But I gotta say, it’s a pretty outrageous French accent there. And Verdain himself has the most outrageous French accent. It’s like a fashion designer had the accent of the French Taunter from Monty Python.
Fashion wise, there’s a lot of velour going on here and a lot of ruffle. Velour and ruffle – big in 67.
Captain Blue is a bit dismissive of the entire fashion industry: “Verdain doesn’t appear of particular importance to anyone, least of all the Mysterons.” No one would believe that a man that runs a women’s fashion house would be a spy! I don’t know – if you’ve seen any episodes of ‘Allo ‘Allo, it’s pretty obvious. Verdain runs the Europe Area Intelligence Network.
Just looking at the way they’re dressed with their caps on in these scenes, is it possible that the Spectrum uniform caps have a clear brim from above? The faces of the Spectrum agents are better lit because when they’ve got caps on, casts a shadow.
There are reports that have come into Spectrum that Captain Black has been seen in Europe. Well, that narrows it down. He’s pretty easy to spot, he’s the unshaven guy.
And just a moment to think about Lieutenant Green. How come Lieutenant Green never gets a hat? I don’t think you ever see him with a hat on. Did the other Spectrum agents nick his hat and throw it over the telegraph pole wires like sand shoes?
Oh, now we’ve got some real fashion here. We’ve got the harlequin patterned chartreuse and burnt orange pantsuit. That pantsuit gives off that whole Hillary Clinton casual look.
As we know, Captain Scarlet’s quite famous for going funny in his water whenever he’s around Mysterons, but he’s really close to two of them there and uh, no, his water doesn’t go funny even once. But they do get invited out on the fabulous motor yacht and we are treated to “Cocktail Time”, the track that was specially recorded for this episode, and it’s the groovy sound of 2068: jazz flute.
Just a few safety engineering tips on Verdain’s 2068 luxury motor yacht: the fuel release valve. Don’t put it directly over the hot manifold of the engine. Why would you ever want to release flammable fuel near the hot manifold? And, uh, complete lack of smoke detectors in the engine compartment in 2068. Obviously a budgetary thing I’m sure. That’s a pretty major engineering fashion faux pas right there people!
Oh, and Captain Scarlet takes the boat out to sea and it goes boom. Was Captain Scarlet killed there and he came back, or did he have a lucky escape? It’s sort of hinted at in the story that he might have been a bit killed there and come back, but you know what he’s like. He’s pretty cavalier with his safety.
And then we’re treated to some super-marionation dressing gowns, which I imagine Sylvia Anderson designed. And because of the marionation, you can’t really show their knees or their full legs or anything like that. So I hope the House of Verdain doesn’t have any swimsuits in their parade, or those marionettes are in trouble.
Interesting that the Mysteron Detector sank with Verdain’s motor yacht. Maybe if someone had turned it on when everybody was getting on board, this would’ve been a bit of a shorter episode. How about Captain Scarlet? Nothing funny in his water? No? Yet, why didn’t they turn on the Mysteron detector? Are they trying to save batteries? Does it belong to someone else and they worry about wearing it out?
Hang on a minute! There’s a report that Captain Black has been seen in Monte Carlo. Well, everybody knows that the Mysterons are mad for Keno. “I was one number away from winning the meat tray …”
Oh, and check out the Dickies at the cocktail party. Multi-colored Dickies people! This is fancy. This is a rare crowd scene for super-marionation. There’s over a dozen marionettes at this party, look at ’em all crammed in there. You don’t see many scenes like this.
Now, of course, they’re worried about Verdain. They want to keep a track on him. So, at the cocktail party Captain Scarlet drugs Verdain’s drink. It’s a homing drug, a bit like an edible or LSD or something. You put that in someone’s drink and they’re pretty easy to find or spot in a crowd, let me tell you. Woohoo! There’s real hands used at multiple times during this episode, particularly with the drugging and the poking and looking around and the light switch.
Captain Black turns up outside Verdain’s hotel window. And by the way, yeah, Captain Black’s fashion, take a look at him there. Looks a bit like, uh, an original member of Dexy’s Midnight Runners with that longshoreman look.
And here’s an example of Captain Scarlet not being the brightest color in the Spectrum rainbow, by not being suspicious of the model with her thumb suspiciously hovering over the room’s light switch: looks at her, looks back at the window, looks at her … oops! the lights go out. And Andre Verdain is shot with a drugged dart, which isn’t really as unusual as you’d expect at one of these fashion parties. It’s the person who doesn’t get the dart that complains.
And this is also one of the rare cases where they capture a Mysteron: the model with the light switch. She’s there! They could capture her! You see Captain Scarlet rumbles Gabrielle knowing that she didn’t fly in because it was fog bound. Aha! She must have been googly-eyed Mysteroned.
But there’s something about the outrageous French accent when she says “You have lost Earth Man” in the French accent, just doesn’t quite seem as menacing as usual.
So we don’t know exactly why the Mysterons have kidnapped Verdain, but Captain Scarlet goes after them in a fast red car. And the Angels go off to get a helicopter. Captain Blue goes off to get the Spectrum pursuit vehicle. Who’s looking after the Mysteron agent they captured, Gabrielle? “You sit here, don’t move, or you’re in so much trouble.”
Nice bit of spycraft here as Captain Blue gets the SPV that’s hidden in a casino. Mind you, he had to play three rounds of Keno to get it out.
And Captain Black really wants to keep Verdain alive. And also what’s happened here with Captain Scarlet? Did he have a crash again? “He’s crashed.” “Good.” Did he actually just get killed then in the red car? His refractory period after dying is pretty impressive. He’s up and about in no time. Also, this is probably the most dialogue I’ve seen Captain Black have when he is talking to Helga. He has a lot to say, but we still don’t know why they want him alive and we still have no idea what their plan is.
They notify the French police and they pull the old French police roadblock trick on Captain Black and the crew. “Look, the exit’s blocked.” “Come out of ze car with your ‘ands up.” So what do they do? They throw Verdain out of the car in a way that it seems they didn’t really want to kill him, cause they could have done that while he was in the car. And then they do the old “don’t look now, we’ve just teleported ourself and the car of here”.
The Mysterons seem to disappear with the same noise as the TARDIS, giving Verdain a bit of existential angst on witnessing the car and the Mysterons just disappear. Also witnessed by the French police, which is not commented upon at all. Look, it’s a French holiday resort. The French police probably see that sort of thing all the time.
If the Mysterons can just teleport themselves out of places, why don’t they do it more often? And if they could, why didn’t they take Verdain with them? Why are they even using a car at all? And of course Verdain’s just tripping balls after seeing this. “Verdain, are you all right?” “I saw it with my own eyes! It vanished! The Saloon just vanished into thin air!” But some silver tongued hand waving from Captain Scarlet resolves everything and gets us out of this. “The Mysterons have powers we cannot hope to understand. Let’s get back to the hotel.”
So Captain Blue has a pretty okay episode. The Angels get fabulous gowns at the end of the episode, and Captain Scarlet got killed twice, probably, and oh no, he’s not bitter: “Yes, I’m all right.”
Just a few questions here for Tony Barwick, the script editor: Gabrielle the Mysteron agent. What happened to her? Did they send her downstairs to play Keno? Did she actually win that meat tray? And what were they actually going to do with Verdain? They could have killed him two or three times over. And where were they going to take him to and what were they going to do with him when they got him there? They almost captured a Mysteron agent! Did she teleport herself out? Did she give them a gown as a bribe? Oh no there’s a lot of unanswered questions in this one, but it’s a fairly fabulous episode fashion wise. And there is that cool music: “Cocktail Time”. 2068 – the sound of jazz flute.
I love Captain Scarlet. It’s dark, but it’s still fun. And if you think this is dark, take a look at Joe 90 sometime.
Captain Aubergine, Spectrum, Sydney, Australia signing off. And remember, there’s nothing suspicious about hovering your finger over a light switch at a cocktail party.
Captain Scarlet, Model Spy episode Lounging on Verdain’s motor cruiser. Cool jazz flute sounds fill the air.Captain Scarlet, Model Spy episode featuring fuel release valve. How not to design an engine room.
